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| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Intimacy After Infidelity Steven Solomon, Lorie Teagno, 2006-11-01 A Guide to Rebuilding Trust and Intimacy It's devastating to discover that the person you trust the most has betrayed you. You'll be facing some hard questions after learning of your partner's infidelity. You may choose to rebuild your relationship, or you may decide to move on. Whatever the right decision is for you, this book will help you figure out why your partner betrayed you and decide whether you can remain in your relationship. It will also show you new ways to relate that can help you and your partner become a lasting, loving, and committed couple. You'll start by taking a look at the phenomenon of infidelity and the three types of intimacy: self-intimacy, conflict intimacy, and affection intimacy. Then you'll learn about the three kinds of infidelity—those of fear, of loneliness, and of anger—and what each reveals about your relationship. Then it's on to practical exercises that can heal emotional wounds and enable you to recover your ability to trust. Even if you decide not to remain with your current partner, the book will help you make wise relationship choices to affair-proof your future relationship. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: What Makes Love Last? John Gottman, John Mordechai Gottman, Nan Silver, 2012-09-04 One of the foremost relationship experts applies the insights of science toward understanding the real meaning of trust between a couple and suggests a new approach to handle adultery. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: After the Affair Janis A. Spring, 1997-02-14 For the 70 percent of couples who have been affected by extramarital affairs, this is the only book to offer proven strategies for surviving the crisis and rebuilding the relationship –– written by a nationally known therapist considered an expert on infidelity. When I was 15, I was raped. That was nothing compared to your affair. The rapist was a stranger; you, I thought, were my best friend. There is nothing quite like the pain and shock caused when a partner has been unfaithful. The hurt partner often experiences a profound loss of self–respect and falls into a depression that can last for years. For the relationship, infidelity is often a death blow. After the Affair is the first book to help readers survive this crisis. Written by a clinical psychologist who has been treating distressed couples for 22 years, it guides both hurt and unfaithful partners through the three stages of healing: Normalizing feelings, deciding whether to recommit and revitalizing the relationship. It provides proven, practical advice to help the couple change their behavior toward each other, cultivate trust and forgiveness and build a healthier, more conscious intimate partnership. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: After the Affair, Updated Second Edition Janis A. Spring, 2013-01-22 “Dr. Spring possesses a remarkable combination of clarity, wisdom, spirit, and heart. This is an extremely helpful and healing book—a gift to us all.” —Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger “It is ‘must’ reading for any couple who has experienced the violation of trust as a result of an affair.” —Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. A staggering number of couples in America—about 70 percent—have been affected by extramarital affairs. After the Affair is the only book to offer proven strategies for surviving the crisis and rebuilding the relationship. Written by Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., a nationally known therapist and acknowledged expert on infidelity, this revised and updated version brings the groundbreaking classic into the 21st century, with a new section dealing with online affairs in cyberspace. For women who are struggling in their marriage—and for clinicians, psychology academics and readers fascinated by of popular psychology—this newly revised and updated edition of After the Affair is essential reading. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Passionate Marriage David Morris Schnarch, 1997 A respectful, erotic, uplifting, and spiritual guide to sexual and emotional fulfillment. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Unfaithful Gary Shriver, Mona Shriver, 2009-11-01 Statistics show that one in every four marriages is impacted by infidelity. So the odds are pretty good that you or someone you know has experienced the searing pain of marital infidelity. But adultery is not an automatic death sentence for your marriage. You can trust again. You can restore intimacy. You can have a relationship that you will both cherish for a lifetime. Ten years ago, Gary and Mona Shriver experienced the devastation caused by adultery, and in the course of trying to save themselves, they wrote this book. Raw, transparently honest, the Shrivers’ story alone is an inspiration, offering hope and practical strategies for healing. Now this updated and revised edition adds other real-life stories of betrayal and forgiveness, and new information defining adultery, including the destruction of emotional affairs. Some doubt if a marriage can truly heal after the ravages of infidelity. Unfaithful proves you can. It’s not easy . . . but it can be done. Is it worth it? Yes. And you hold the first step—and hope—in your hand. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: NOT "Just Friends" Shirley Glass, 2007-11-01 One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent infidelity and, if it happens, recover and heal from it. You’re right to be cautious when you hear these words: “I’m telling you, we’re just friends.” Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: The State of Affairs Esther Perel, 2017-10-10 A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of Books From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.” |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Intimacy After Infidelity Steven D. Solomon, Lorie J. Teagno, 2006 This book offers readers a compassionate and effective strategy for recovery after their partner had cheated: by identifying the three kinds of infidelity; overcoming the pain of betrayal; and learning to rebuild a healthier 'affair-proof' relationship. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Rekindling Desire Barry McCarthy, Emily McCarthy, 2013-12-17 For over a decade Rekindling Desire has helped to restore and restructure sexuality in thousands of lives. This expanded edition continues the exploration of inhibited sexual desire and no-sex relationships by the author, who brings decades of knowledge and the expertise that comes from having treated almost 3,000 couples for sexual problems. Contained within are suggested strategies and exercises that help develop communication and sexual skills, as well as interesting case studies that open the doors to couples’ sexual frustrations. The shame, embarrassment, and hesitancy that individuals feel with themselves, and the resentment and blame they can feel towards their sexual partners, are explored and put into context. Whether you are married, cohabitating, or dating, or if you are 25, 45, or 75, reading this book will help renew your sexual desire and put you on the path towards healthy, pleasure-oriented sexuality. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Torn Asunder David Carder, 2008 There is hope for recovery from the devastation of extramarital affairs. In Torn Asunder, Carder provides an overall recovery process from sexual and non-sexual affairs. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Life with Pop Janis Abrahms Spring Ph. D., Michael Spring, 2009-04-30 From bestselling author and clinical psychologist Janis Abrahms Spring comes a refreshingly honest and tender portrait of a devoted daughter caring for her father through his final years of life After her mother died, Janis Abrahms Spring inherited her father-Pop- and set off on an all-consuming five-year mission to make his days as rich and comfortable as possible. This is their story, overflowing with humor, insight, and love. In beautifully crafted vignettes, spring brings their deepening relationship to life-both the joy and the imposition, the happiness and the heartaches. From her unique perspective as a clinical psychologist, Spring explores the emotional and practical complexities of parenting a parent. Inspiring, deeply moving, and frank, Life with Pop is an ultimately comforting meditation on a universal experience, as well as a book with profound lessons on how to grow old gracefully. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Getting Past the Affair Douglas K. Snyder, Donald H. Baucom, Kristina Coop Gordon, 2007-01-06 This book has been replaced by Getting Past the Affair, Second Edition, ISBN 978-1-4625-4748-7. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Healing from Infidelity Michele Weiner-Davis, 2017 Little compares to the devastation people feel upon discovering their spouse has been unfaithful. Shocked, devastated and overwhelmed, couples often hit stalemates as they struggle to get past intense emotional pain, mistrust, resentment and never-ending arguments about the betrayal. Based on over three decades of experience helping couples recover from betrayal and save their marriages, Weiner-Davis offers a step-by-step program to help readers: - Deal with traumatic feelings after the discovery - Respond to questions about the affair - Talk about intense emotions without arguing - End the affair - Offer apologies that are sincere and healing - Overcome flashbacks and painful memories - Rebuild trust and accountability - Make their marriage stronger than before the affair - Find forgiveness - Reconnect sexually This book is filled with case vignettes of couples whose lives were shattered by betrayal but have eventually recovered and thrived.--Publisher's description. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Emotional Infidelity M. Gary Neuman, 2009-06-03 What’s holding you back from a great marriage? “I don’t believe in ‘okay,’ ‘decent,’ or ‘solid’ marriages. I’m against them,” says M. Gary Neuman. “I believe only in great marriages, and that you should expect and reach for no less.” In the last fifteen years, M. Gary Neuman, marital therapist and architect of the Sandcastles Divorce Therapy Program, has helped thousands of couples in crisis. Couples who fight. Who’ve grown apart. Who are stuck in relationships that run more on routine and rancor than love and understanding. What he’s found is that, contrary to popular belief, the problem is usually not poor communication. It’s the failure to put most of your focus into your marriage. You’ve only got so much energy. Are you spending it by being emotionally unfaithful? Take a quick check: Do you send that funny e-mail to your friends at work—but not to your spouse? Do you chew over all the problems on the job so thoroughly with your colleagues that by the time you get home, you just don’t feel like going into it all over again? Do you get a secret thrill out of flirting with coworkers—thinking it’s safe because you know it’s not going any further? If so, you’re committing emotional infidelity—and you’re draining your marriage of the energy it needs to be great. Learning how to break this cycle is one of eleven secrets M. Gary Neuman shares in his provocative new book. Based on the ten-week program he’s developed in his successful couples counseling practice, the book offers guidelines that are often counterintuitive, even outrageous or shocking. But they work. Dare to limit contact with members of the opposite sex. Dare to need each other. Dare to put in writing the nitty-gritty realities of a marriage plan. Dare to put your marriage before your kids or job. Dare to make love in a whole new way. Dare to change your focus: make the commitment to focus on each of the eleven secrets (ten plus one bonus secret) for one week apiece and you’ll reap the rewards of a transformed marriage and a reconfirmed relationship. M. Gary Neuman’s program is guaranteed to challenge you and make you reexamine the myths holding you back from true happiness and satisfaction. It will change your marriage forever. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Anatomy of an Affair Dave Carder, 2017-09-05 When it comes to adultery, never say, “It won’t happen to me.” Just when you think your marriage is safe from adultery is when you may be the most vulnerable. With eye-opening stories, clinical insights, and up-to-date data, Dave Carder reveals what adulterers learned the hard way—and what they want the rest of us to know to save us the pain. Dave Carder, counselor and author of the bestselling Torn Asunder (100,000 in print), is a sought-after expert on issues of adultery. Here he helps you make your marriage adultery-proof by showing you: How attractions can lead to affairs Ways you may be vulnerable to affairs The common ingredients of adultery How to restore intimacy to your marriage How to make wise, protective decisions Marriage is too sacred to be taken casually. Affairs are a very real threat, and they can destroy lives and families. For this reason, Anatomy of an Affair should be on every church leader’s and marriage counselor’s required reading list, and in the home of every married couple. Includes charts and assessments to understand and guard against affairs. This book is the revised edition of Close Calls (2008) |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: How Can I Forgive You? Janis A. Spring, 2009-10-13 “If you are struggling with issues of betrayal—or the challenge of whether and how to forgive—here is the most helpful and surprising book you will ever find on the subject.”—Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger Everyone is struggling to forgive someone: an unfaithful partner, an alcoholic parent, an ungrateful child, a terrorist. This award-winning book provides a radical way for hurt parties to heal themselves—without forgiving, as well as a way for offenders to earn genuine forgiveness. Until now, we’ve been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring, a gifted clinical psychologist and award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives—without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for earning genuine forgiveness—one that asks as much of the offender as it does of the hurt party. Beautifully written and filled with insight, practical advice, and poignant case studies, this bold and healing book offers step-by-step, concrete instructions that help us make peace with others and ourselves, while answering such crucial questions as these: How do I forgive someone who is unremorseful or dead? When is forgiveness cheap? Can I heal myself – without forgiving? How can the offender earn forgiveness? What makes for a good apology? How do we forgive ourselves for hurting another human being? |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Private Lies Frank Pittman, 1990-11-06 Why do half the people in marriages have affairs? What problems are they trying to solve? Using actual case studies, as well as examples from music, literature, and film, Dr. Pittman identifies four basic patterns of infidelity—the accidental encounter, habitual philandering, marital arrangements, and romance—discussed how to limit the damage that affairs do, and offers practical suggestions on how to make a marriage work. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: RESTORING THE PLEASURE Clifford Penner, Joyce J. Penner, 1993-07-12 |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Affair Healing Tim Tedder, 2017-02-06 |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Love Must Be Tough James C. Dobson, 2010-12-22 You've forgiven a thousand times. You've bent over backwards to make your partner feel loved and accepted. But the only reward for your loyalty has been anger, indifference, infidelity, or abuse. Your spouse may even be ready to walk out the door. Do you feel like all is lost? Are you ready to give up? There IS still hope. Dr. James Dobson's “tough love” principles have proven to be uniquely valuable and effective. Unlike most approaches to marriage crisis, the strategy in this groundbreaking classic does not require the willing cooperation of both spouses. Love Must Be Tough offers the guidance that gives you the best chance of rekindling romance, renewing your relationship, and drawing your partner back into your arms. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Divorce Busting Michele Weiner-Davis, 1992 A marriage counseling guide teaches readers how to target their present marital problems and set attainable goals for the future with strategies that help break destructive behavior patterns |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Coming Home to Passion Ruth Cohn, 2011-02-18 This book offers a detailed road map for overcoming sexual and relationship impasses originating from painful childhood experiences. Large numbers of adults with histories of childhood trauma and neglect suffer persistent relationship and sexual difficulties. Unfortunately, most have failed to receive adequate help with emerging from these deep and complex problems. Coming Home to Passion: Restoring Loving Sexuality in Couples with Histories of Childhood Trauma and Neglect explores the enduring impacts—physiological, psychological, and behavioral—of childhood trauma and neglect. Author Ruth Cohn, drawing on 25 years of experience working with trauma survivors and their partners and families, lays out a practical and actionable course for recovery in clear, accessible language. This book provides direction and hope to those with trauma backgrounds while also serving as a unique resource for professional readers. Integrating in-depth information on attachment and relationship, trauma and neglect, and sexuality, Cohn details a practical, hands-on treatment approach for revitalizing love, health, and passion. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Out of the Doghouse Robert Weiss, 2017-01-03 It's all about cheating--the biggest threat to intimacy. Typically, men are good at creating rifts in relationships but terrible at mending them, especially after they've repeatedly betrayed their partner through sexual infidelity. For the most part, cheating men are both intimacy-challenged and empathy-challenged, and, as such, they lack the skills needed to overcome the damage wrought by their infidelity. Robert Weiss has spent over twenty years in the treatment of sex and intimacy issues. He's helped both cheating men and their betrayed spouses move through the horrors of infidelity. In Out of the Doghouse he shares his expertise, illuminating the ways in which men can move beyond their usual feeble efforts to smooth things over. Saying I'm sorry and trying to buy forgiveness with flowers and jewelry may temporarily calm the stormy seas of infidelity. However, these actions do nothing to re-establish intimacy and trust—the key components to help the distraught woman feel better about her relationship over the long-term and get over the cheating. The simple truth is men and women are very different when it comes to intimacy and relationships. While men are able to compartmentalize things like sexual infidelity, women typically view cheating as an affront to their entire relationship. They think, If he is lying to me about sex, he's probably lying to me about everything. For betrayed women, trust just flat-out disintegrates. And without proper guidance, men have little hope of restoring it. Weiss provides exactly the needed guidance in Out of the Doghouse, helping men move past the usual infidelity roadblocks that result from cheating in ways that will not only save a damaged relationship, but restore intimacy to make it better than ever. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Secrets to Surviving Infidelity Scott Haltzman, 2025-02-11 This second edition of Secrets to Surviving Infidelity offers a compassionate and practical roadmap toward recovery and reconnection. Through humane insights and step-by-step strategies, Dr. Scott Haltzman, a psychiatrist and marriage educator, shares how to overcome the pain of betrayal and strengthen relationships in its wake. He provides clear guidance on how to end an affair, how to cope with feelings of anger and grief, and how to foster forgiveness and healing. Secrets to Surviving Infidelity is a lifeline for those desperate to recover and safeguard their relationships-- |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Worthy of Her Trust Stephen Arterburn, Jason B. Martinkus, 2014-08-19 You Can Win Her Back Few challenges in life are as difficult as regaining a wife’s trust—and few are as ultimately worthwhile. Trust can be rebuilt in your marriage! With patient, loving, self-sacrificing effort, it’s possible that one day your wife will risk her heart with you again. And she may even have more respect and love for you than before. In Worthy of Her Trust, Jason Martinkus relates how he repaired his own marriage after revelations of sexual addiction. Along with Stephen Arterburn, Jason offers exercises and tools rooted in counseling principles to help your marriage begin again. This comprehensive guide discusses: · How to be truly and effectively transparent · Combating the “he must not love me” myth and other untruths · What to do about the Internet, office temptations, and travel · Encouragement for wives who wonder if trust can ever be restored · The “five-minute phone call” and other daily trust-building strategies · What meaningful forgiveness and restitution look like · The Amends Matrix—a concrete exercise to admit past wrongs and cast a vision for a faithful future Including insights from Jason’s wife, Shelley, Worthy of Her Trust guides you through the process of rebuilding your relationship so it is stronger than ever. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory Dedeker Winston, 2017-02-07 No one likes a know-it-all, but everyone loves a girl with brains and heart. The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory is an intelligent and comprehensive guide to polyamory, open relationships, and other forms of alternative love, offering relationship advice radically different from anything you'll find on the magazine rack. This practical guidebook will help women break free of the mold of traditional monogamy, without the constraints of jealousy, possessiveness, insecurity, and competition. The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory incorporates interviews and real-world advice from women of all ages in nontraditional relationships, as well as exercises for building self-awareness, confidence in communication, and strategies for managing and eliminating jealousy. If you're curious about exploring group sex, opening up your current monogamous relationship, or ready to “come out” as polyamorous, this book covers it all! Whether you're a seasoned graduate, a timid freshman, or somewhere in between, you'll learn how to discover and craft unique relationships that are healthy, happy, sexy, and tailor-made for you. Because when it comes to your love life, being a know-it-all is actually a great thing to be. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Affairs Emily M. Brown, 1999-09-02 A deeply traumatic experience for both spouses, an affair can create a terrible loss of trust and can often lead to the end of a relationship. There are consequences not only for the married couple, but also for their children, family, and friends, not to mention for the third party in the triangle. This non-judgmental guide offers the knowledge and information that couples need in order to adequately confront marital infidelity and to get on with their lives. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Be Happily Married Abby Medcalf, 2018-12-21 ARE YOU READY TO? Feel Closer and More Connected to Your Partner? Stop Having the Same Argument Over and Over? Be Happier and Finally Make Changes that Stick? It's not too late. You can reclaim your relationship AND your happiness. You just need to have the right tools to finally make it happen. Over the last 30 years I've helped thousands of people like you create connection and happiness in their relationships. Combining my hands-on experience and the latest research, I've created a proven system to transform any relationship into a connected, communication machine. My goal is, above all, to provide practical, usable tools that WORK -- not unproven ideas or pie-in-the-sky theories that sound good but do little to help you in your day-to-day life. You can create the relationship of your dreams, even if you're partner won't do a thing! In this book, you'll learn: The secret to why your past attempts at change haven't lasted. Effective tools to get your relationship unstuck, quickly and easily. How small, simple steps can get you BIG results, no matter how long you've struggled. The keys to creating a happy and connected relationship. The level of happiness in your life is DIRECTLY related to the level of happiness in your relationship. This is the last relationship book you'll ever have to read because I'll show you exactly how to get there. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Hot, Holy, and Humorous J. Parker, 2016-07-26 Do you want to be a hottie in the bedroom without sacrificing holiness? How can you make the most of God's gift of sexual intimacy in marriage? Wrongful thinking and behaviors regarding sex permeate our culture. Christians need to reclaim sexuality and enjoy it in the way God intended. God does not shy away from the subject of sex. The Bible shows a better way in every area-including the marital bedroom. In Hot, Holy, and Humorous, author J. Parker gives candid advice for wives from a foundation of faith with a splash of humor. This book can boost your sex savvy and improve your marital intimacy. And guess what? With God's perfect design, you and your spouse can enjoy the most amazing sex! |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples John M. Gottman, 2011-05-09 An eminent therapist explains what makes couples compatible and how to sustain a happy marriage. For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship. Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times. Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient. This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Mating in Captivity Esther Perel, 2012-02-16 When you love someone, how does it feel? And when you desire someone, how is it different? In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples. Modern romance promises it all - a lifetime of togetherness, intimacy and erotic desire. In reality, it's hard to want what you already have. Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. And often, the very thing that got us to into our relationships - lust - is the one thing that goes missing from them. Determined to reconcile the erotic and the domestic, Perel explains why democracy is a passion killer in the bedroom. Argues for playfulness, distance, and uncertainty. And shows what it takes to bring lust home. Smart, sexy and explosively original, Mating in Captivity is the monogamist's essential bedside read. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: The Conscious Bride Sheryl Nissinen, Sheryl Paul, 2000 Led by a counselor, brides share their feelings about such issues as being given away, wearing a veil, changing their name, and closing the hotel room door only to find themselves suddenly--married. The author unravels the psychology behind common difficulties and offers practical advice for handling the fears and doubts that so often run amok as wedding bells toll. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: When You're the One Who Cheats Tammy Nelson, 2019-02-11 A must read for anyone who's been thinking about having an affair. Includes real-life narratives of people who have cheated. Provides insights for those who are single and cheating with a married person. Offers therapists, clergy, and counselors a look into the cheater's motivation. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Life Anonymous Kristin M Snowden, Scott Brassart, 2020-12-04 This book is for anyone who wants to get out of a painful internal or interpersonal cycle and seek a better way of living.The 12-Step model for recovery and healing has helped millions of addicts worldwide not only find and maintain sobriety but live healthier, happier, more intimately connected lives. But for some reason, this formula has never taken root beyond the recovering addict community. Until now. Kristin M. Snowden, a non-addict and therapist, and Scott Brassart, a long-recovering addict and author, have both worked and benefitted from the 12 Steps. And they have both wondered why-when it is so clear to them that the 12 Steps can help any person (addicted or not)-this proven program for healthy change is not more widely utilized. That is why Life Anonymous was written, with Kristin and Scott using their personal and professional journeys to show how every person can use the 12 Steps to ignite profound change. You don't need to be an addict and you don't need extreme or obvious symptoms such as debilitating depression or anxiety to get something meaningful from this book. You don't even need to be in relationship with an addict. The simple truth is that people in deep struggle can appear to be quite high functioning. The 12 Steps are about identifying what is not working in our lives and making changes to better both ourselves and our relationships. Ultimately, healthy connection with self and others is what it's all about.Whoever you are, whatever your situation, your life can be better. Much better. And the 12 Step process described in these pages can help you make that happen. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Does Divorce Make People Happy? Linda J. Waite, 2002 Does divorce typically make adults happier than staying in an unhappy marriage? Many Americans assume so. This study represents, to the best of our knowledge, the first serious effort to investigate this assumption empirically: Two out of three unhappily married adults who avoided divorce reported being happily married five years later. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: How to Repair Your Relationship After an Affair Pasquale De Marco, 2025-04-28 Infidelity is a devastating experience that can shatter the foundation of a relationship and leave lasting scars on the individuals involved. It is a betrayal of trust, a violation of vows, and a profound wound to the heart. In the aftermath of infidelity, individuals and couples are often left feeling lost, confused, and alone. This comprehensive guide provides practical advice and support for those who are struggling to heal from the pain of betrayal. It covers a wide range of topics, including: * The different types of infidelity * The causes of infidelity * The impact of infidelity on individuals and relationships * How to cope with the discovery of infidelity * How to rebuild trust after infidelity * How to heal from the trauma of infidelity * How to prevent infidelity in the future Whether you are the one who has been betrayed or the one who has committed infidelity, this book will help you to understand the complex emotions that you are experiencing and to develop the skills that you need to move forward. With time, patience, and effort, you can overcome the trauma of infidelity and rebuild a strong and healthy relationship. **What You Will Learn** * How to identify the signs of infidelity * How to cope with the initial shock and disbelief * How to deal with anger, betrayal, and grief * How to protect yourself and your children * How to decide whether to stay or leave the relationship * How to rebuild trust after infidelity * How to heal from the trauma of infidelity * How to prevent infidelity in the future **This book is an essential resource for anyone who has been affected by infidelity. It is a source of hope and guidance for those who are struggling to rebuild their lives after betrayal.** If you like this book, write a review on google books! |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Intimacy Dr. Paul Coleman, 2005-09-06 The comprehensive guide to getting close—and closer . . . Renowned psychologist Dr. Paul Coleman gives readers a step–by–step, clear path to improving their relationships by helping them identify intimacy problems, understand key differences between men and women, change perceptions, overcome arguments, and effectively communicate. He also covers sexual intimacy and affection issues, including intimacy during stressful times, transitions, and as relationships progress. This book is a beacon for those looking to solve their struggles with intimacy. • Tools and exercises for both physical and emotional intimacy • Self-assessment tests and exercises to help pinpoint issues • For couples, singles, and families, men and women • Coleman is an expert with an active practice and specialty in intimacy issues who’s made appearances on Oprah, Today, and Geraldo |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Healing After Infidelity Jeffrey D. Murrah, 2024-06-04 From Betrayal to Breakthrough When the shock of infidelity shatters your world, it can feel like your entire life is crumbling around you. The pain, anger, and sense of betrayal are overwhelming, leaving you reeling and unsure if your relationship can ever be repaired. But even in the darkness of this devastation, there is hope. Healing After Infidelity is your personal guide and compassionate companion through the challenging journey of affair recovery. With over 40 years of experience helping couples navigate the aftermath of betrayal, licensed professional counselor Jeffrey D. Murrah offers a beacon of light and a path forward. * Through real-life stories, practical strategies, and groundbreaking insights, you'll gain: * Tools to make sense of the trauma and begin the healing process * Strategies for rebuilding trust and reconnecting with your partner * Techniques for effective communication and managing triggers * Guidance on cultivating genuine forgiveness and moving forward * Insights into the unique challenges of infidelity in blended families and same-sex relationships * Tips for maintaining progress, preventing relapse, and embracing post-traumatic growth Whether you're grappling with the shock of discovery, struggling to heal as an individual, or working to redefine your relationship, this book meets you where you are with wisdom, empathy, and understanding. It addresses the diverse needs of different family structures and multicultural backgrounds, ensuring an inclusive approach. You are not alone, and your marriage is not beyond repair. With commitment, courage, and the right support, you can emerge stronger, wiser, and more in love from this crisis than ever before. Let Healing After Infidelity be your guide on this transformative journey of healing and growth. A brighter future awaits. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jeff is a seasoned therapist with over 40 years of experience. His globally acclaimed counseling approach seamlessly integrates Biblical principles with cutting-edge neuropsychology, providing clients with a unique and comprehensive path to healing and restoration. As a thought leader in the field, Jeff has helped countless couples navigate the difficult journey of rebuilding trust, fostering forgiveness, and rediscovering emotional intimacy after an affair. |
| rebuilding intimacy after affair: Let' Talk About the Affair Jeffrey D. Murrah, 2024-06-06 Mending Broken Vows Are you grappling with the devastating aftermath of an affair? Feeling lost, hurt, and unsure if your marriage can survive this ultimate betrayal? You're not alone. Infidelity is a shattering experience that leaves even the strongest relationships reeling. But here's the truth: healing is possible. With the right tools, strategies, and mindset, you can navigate this painful chapter and emerge with a stronger, wiser, and more resilient love than ever before. In Let's Talk About the Affair, renowned relationship expert Jeffrey D. Murrah draws on his 40+ years of experience helping couples recover from infidelity to offer a compassionate, practical roadmap through the storm. With a unique blend of biblical principles, cutting-edge neuroscience, and real-world wisdom, Murrah illuminates the path to healing, helping you: * Understand the complex factors that contribute to affairs * Communicate effectively and rebuild trust, one conversation at a time * Process the intense emotions of betrayal with grace and resilience * Reconnect with your partner on a foundation of radical honesty * Affair-proof your marriage and cultivate an unshakable bond Through personal stories, case studies, and proven strategies, Let's Talk About the Affair offers a lifeline of hope and renewal for couples in crisis. Whether you're reeling from a recent revelation or still struggling years later, this book is your essential companion on the journey to recovery. The road ahead may be difficult, but you don't have to walk it alone. With Murrah's expert guidance and a willing heart, you can transform the searing pain of infidelity into an opportunity for profound growth, intimacy, and love. Let the healing begin. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jeff is a seasoned therapist with over 40 years of experience. His globally acclaimed counseling approach seamlessly integrates Biblical principles with cutting-edge neuropsychology, providing clients with a unique and comprehensive path to healing and restoration. As a thought leader in the field, Jeff has helped countless couples navigate the difficult journey of rebuilding trust, fostering forgiveness, and rediscovering emotional intimacy after an affair. |
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