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| just go the f to sleep book: Go the F**k to Sleep Adam Mansbach, 2011-06-14 The #1 New York Times Bestseller: “A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep” (NPR). “Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.” Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Fuck, Now There Are Two of You (Go the Fuck to Sleep #3) (Go the F to Sleep) Adam Mansbach, 2019-10-01 The third installment in Adam Mansbach's international best-selling Go the Fuck to Sleep series addresses, with radical honesty, the family implosion that occurs when a second child arrives “If you’re a fan of both Larry David and profane children’s book parodies, don’t even try to curb your f*cking enthusiasm.” —Kirkus Reviews Adam Mansbach famously gave voice to two of parenting’s primal struggles in Go the Fuck to Sleep and You Have to Fucking Eat—the often-imitated, never-duplicated pair of New York Times best sellers that ushered in a new era of radical honesty in humor books for parents. But what could possibly be left? Parents—new, old, expectant, and grand—of multiple children already knew the answer. Adam discovered it for himself by having two more kids, less than two years apart. Fuck, Now There Are Two of You is a loving monologue about the new addition to the family, addressed to a big sibling and shot through with Adam’s trademark profane truth-telling. Gorgeously illustrated and chock-full of unspoken sentiments channeled directly from the brains of parents worldwide, Fuck, Now There Are Two of You articulates all the fears and frustrations attendant to the simple, math-defying fact that two is a million more kids than one. As you probably know by now, you shouldn’t read it to a child. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Precious Little Sleep Alexis Dubief, 2020-10-19 Aren’t babies precious? So is sleep. Your baby is capable of sleeping through the night and this book will show you how. A whip smart and entertaining guide that focuses on WHY babies sleep the way they do, this book arms you with evidence-based and flexible tools that work for every unique situation so that you can teach your baby how to sleep well. This book will help you tackle the thorniest sleep snags, including: > Navigating the tricky newborn phase like a pro > Getting your child to truly sleep through the night > Weaning off the all-night buffet > Mastering the precarious tango that is healthy napping > Solving toddler and preschooler sleep struggles Sleep expert Alexis Dubief, of the wildly popular website, podcast, and group Precious Little Sleep, imparts effective, accessible, and flexible strategies based on years of research that will dramatically improve your child’s sleep. You’ll love the practical solutions and the way she presents them. And it works! Buy it now. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Jake the Fake Keeps His Cool Craig Robinson, Adam Mansbach, 2020-06-16 For fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Big Nate comes the third book in this laugh-out-loud series about a class clown faking his way through middle school from comedian and film star Craig Robinson, #1 New York Times bestselling author Adam Mansbach, and NAACP History Maker recipient and cartoonist Keith Knight. Life couldn't be better for Jake. He's a student at Music and Arts Academy and a budding comedian, and he finally put an end to his fake-ster ways . . . or so he thought. There's a new girl at school, and Jake would do anything to impress her, even pretending to be a master chef. And a world-renowned barber? But at home, Jake is less impressed with his mom's news: she's pregnant. Now Jake has to fake being happy about becoming the Middle Child. The King of Cool is about to drop his chill. Luckily, he has good friends and laughs on his side, along with more than two hundred illustrations--all about him! |
| just go the f to sleep book: Stop Meowing and Go the F*ck to Sleep Rosa Silva, 2017-01-11 Stop Meowing and Go the F*ck to Sleep is a funny bedtime book for all the desperate cat parents out there. If you have experienced the nightmare of having a kitty who won't let you have a good night's sleep, this is the book for you. It's the perfect gift for crazy cat lovers who appreciate hilarious insights into the feline nature. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Mission Complete, Air Force , 2017-09-11 Join all the characters in our book on a wonderful journey as they fly your little one to sleep! |
| just go the f to sleep book: Before I Go to Sleep , 2011-11-01 |
| just go the f to sleep book: The Silent Patient Alex Michaelides, 2019-02-05 **THE INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER** An unforgettable—and Hollywood-bound—new thriller... A mix of Hitchcockian suspense, Agatha Christie plotting, and Greek tragedy. —Entertainment Weekly The Silent Patient is a shocking psychological thriller of a woman’s act of violence against her husband—and of the therapist obsessed with uncovering her motive. Alicia Berenson’s life is seemingly perfect. A famous painter married to an in-demand fashion photographer, she lives in a grand house with big windows overlooking a park in one of London’s most desirable areas. One evening her husband Gabriel returns home late from a fashion shoot, and Alicia shoots him five times in the face, and then never speaks another word. Alicia’s refusal to talk, or give any kind of explanation, turns a domestic tragedy into something far grander, a mystery that captures the public imagination and casts Alicia into notoriety. The price of her art skyrockets, and she, the silent patient, is hidden away from the tabloids and spotlight at the Grove, a secure forensic unit in North London. Theo Faber is a criminal psychotherapist who has waited a long time for the opportunity to work with Alicia. His determination to get her to talk and unravel the mystery of why she shot her husband takes him down a twisting path into his own motivations—a search for the truth that threatens to consume him.... |
| just go the f to sleep book: Time for Bed Mem Fox, 1997 As darkness falls, parents get their children ready for sleep. |
| just go the f to sleep book: The Left Hand of Darkness Ursula K. Le Guin, 1987-03-15 50TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION—WITH A NEW INTRODUCTION BY DAVID MITCHELL AND A NEW AFTERWORD BY CHARLIE JANE ANDERS Ursula K. Le Guin’s groundbreaking work of science fiction—winner of the Hugo and Nebula Awards. A lone human ambassador is sent to the icebound planet of Winter, a world without sexual prejudice, where the inhabitants’ gender is fluid. His goal is to facilitate Winter’s inclusion in a growing intergalactic civilization. But to do so he must bridge the gulf between his own views and those of the strange, intriguing culture he encounters... Embracing the aspects of psychology, society, and human emotion on an alien world, The Left Hand of Darkness stands as a landmark achievement in the annals of intellectual science fiction. |
| just go the f to sleep book: The Bear Who Couldn't Sleep Caroline Nastro, 2016-10 When Bear can't sleep, he goes on an adventure and discovers the wonders of New York City--a parade, Central Park, hot dogs, and more! But when he finally gets tired and looks for a place to rest, he learns why it's called the city that never sleeps--Dust jacket flap. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Good Night, Sleep Tight! Claire Freedman, 2007 While babysitting, Grandma tries several ways to get Ethan to feel sleepy but nothing works until she remembers how she used to put his mother to bed when she was a little girl. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Go de Rass to Sleep: (A Jamaican translation) Adam Mansbach, 2014-05-19 Named one of the 20 Greatest New Father's Day Gifts by Advocate.com! No matter what the country or the language, parents all over the world--loving, frustrated, exhausted parents--know what Adam Mansbach means. Since 2011, his comically obscene picture book has sold more than 1.5 million copies in dozens of languages from Afrikaans to Japanese to Nynorsk. And later this year, his little book will venture into new territory with a Jamaican patois translation: 'Go de R–s to Sleep.' --The Washington Post/Style Blog This version of Adam Mansbach's profane, affectionate, and radically honest book will remind whole new audiences about the absurdities of parenting. Just don't read it to the kids. --Advocate.com, The 20 Greatest New Father's Day Gifts Praise for Go the Fuck to Sleep: A new Bible for weary parents. --New York Times Incredibly appealing. --NPR A parenting zeitgeist...A phenomenon that has stunned the publishing world and may just redefine the modern ‘parenting’ market. --Washington Post Delightfully obscene. --Newsweek Nothing has driven home a certain truth about my generation, which is approaching the apex of its childbearing years, quite like this deranged book. --New Yorker The best-selling Go the F*** to Sleep has been translated into over thirty languages worldwide. Now it is finally translated for Jamaican and other Caribbean parents of the world. Given how many West Indians live in the US and Canada, the market for this book should be broad, but focused mainly on areas with a large Caribbean community. Go de Rass to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, California Book Award–winning author Adam Mansbach's verses perfectly capture the familiar--and unspoken--tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. In the process, they open up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations, and laugh at their absurdity. With illustrations by Ricardo Cortés, Go de Rass to Sleep is beautiful, subversive, and pants-wettingly funny--a book for parents new, old, and expectant. You probably should not read it to your children. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Once Upon a Time, the End (Asleep in 60 Seconds) Geoffrey Kloske, 2005-10-01 Once upon a time there was a grown-up looking for a book with very short bedtime stories for a kid who wouldn't go to sleep. So the grown-up picked up this book and read this flap and took the book home and read it out loud and they both laughed and fell fast asleep fast. Just like you. The end. |
| just go the f to sleep book: How Do Dinosaurs Go to Sleep? Jane Yolen, 2016 In rhyming text young dinosaurs try to avoid going to bed, but finally cooperate, to their parents' relief. |
| just go the f to sleep book: The Metamorphosis Franz Kafka, 2020-01-14 New translation of The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka. Poor Gregor Samsa! This guy wakes up one morning to discover that he's become a monstrous vermin. The first pages of The Metamorphosis where Gregor tries to communicate through the bedroom door with his family, who think he’s merely being lazy, is vintage screwball comedy. Indeed, scholars and readers alike have delighted in Kafka’s gallows humor and matter-of-fact handling of the absurd and the terrifying. But it is one of the most enigmatic stories of all time, with an opening sentence that’s unparalleled in all of literature. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Laziness Does Not Exist Devon Price, 2022-01-04 A social psychologist uncovers the psychological basis of the laziness lie, which originated with the Puritans and has ultimately created blurred boundaries between work and life with modern technologies and offers advice for not succumbing to societal pressure to do more. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Save Our Sleep, Revised Edition Tizzie Hall, 2015-08-01 The bestseller that answers that all-important question for parents - how can I get my baby to sleep?Tizzie Hall is an internationally renowned baby whisperer who has been working with babies and their parents for over 24 years. Her customised sleep routines have helped thousands of restless babies sleep through the night, and in this easy-to-use sleep guide she shares:*Sleep routines for baby's first two years, covering both breast and bottle-fed babies, and their introduction to solids *Teaching your baby to settle and resettle themselves *Solutions to sleep problems *Common questions and case studies from parents *How to overcome any breaks to the sleeping routine Fully revised and updated, this new edition includes a new routine, integrated feedback on routines, expressing and dealing with premature babies and twins, and helpful tips for choosing cots, bedding, swaddling and child safety seats. Tried and tested, Tizzie will show you how to help your child sleep all night, every night.Save Our Sleep is the must-have book for all parents who want to save their sleep.Visit Tizzie's website www.saveoursleep.com |
| just go the f to sleep book: Don't Go to Sleep (Goosebumps #54) R. L. Stine, 2018-11-27 Matt hates his tiny bedroom. It's so small, its practically a closet! Still, Matt's mom refuses to let him sleep in the guest room. After all, they might have guests. Some day. Or year.Then Matt does it. Late one night. When everyone's in bed. He sneaks into the guest room and falls asleep.Poor Matt. He should have listened to his mom. Because when Matt wakes up, his whole life has changed. For the worse. And every time he falls asleep, he wakes up in a new nightmare... |
| just go the f to sleep book: It's Time to Sleep, My Love Nancy Tillman, Eric Metaxas, 2013-07-30 As comforting as a soft blanket and warm as a goodnight hug, Eric Metaxas's lullaby It's Time to Sleep, My Love is delightfully brought to life by bestselling artist Nancy Tillman (On the Night You Were Born), whose illustrations celebrate the wonders of the natural world, and the bonds of family. It's time to sleep, it's time to sleep, the fishes croon in waters deep. The songbirds sing in trees above, It's time to sleep, my love, my love. As children prepare for bed, the world around them is also settling down for the night. Animals who live in the jungle, the forest, the sea—all whisper to their babies a soft refrain: It's time to sleep, my love. It's Time to Sleep, My Love is a 2009 Bank Street - Best Children's Book of the Year. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Seriously, You Have to Eat Adam Mansbach, 2015 The 100% kid-friendly, G-rated version of the New York Times best-selling parents' book, You Have to F**king Eat. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Charlotte's Web E. B. White, 1952 Sixty years ago, on October 15, 1952, E.B. White's Charlotte's Web was published. It's gone on to become one of the most beloved children's books of all time. To celebrate this milestone, the renowned Newbery Medalist Kate DiCamillo has written a heartfelt and poignant tribute to the book that is itself a beautiful translation of White's own view of the world—of the joy he took in the change of seasons, in farm life, in the miracles of life and death, and, in short, the glory of everything. We are proud to include Kate DiCamillo's foreword in the 60th anniversary editions of this cherished classic. Charlotte's Web is the story of a little girl named Fern who loved a little pig named Wilbur—and of Wilbur's dear friend Charlotte A. Cavatica, a beautiful large grey spider who lived with Wilbur in the barn. With the help of Templeton, the rat who never did anything for anybody unless there was something in it for him, and by a wonderfully clever plan of her own, Charlotte saved the life of Wilbur, who by this time had grown up to quite a pig. How all this comes about is Mr. White's story. It is a story of the magic of childhood on the farm. The thousands of children who loved Stuart Little, the heroic little city mouse, will be entranced with Charlotte the spider, Wilbur the pig, and Fern, the little girl who understood their language. The forty-seven black-and-white drawings by Garth Williams have all the wonderful detail and warmhearted appeal that children love in his work. Incomparably matched to E.B. White's marvelous story, they speak to each new generation, softly and irresistibly. |
| just go the f to sleep book: The Old Man And The Sea Ernest Hemingway, 2012-02-14 Santiago, an old Cuban fisherman, has gone 84 days without catching a fish. Confident that his bad luck is at an end, he sets off alone, far into the Gulf Stream, to fish. Santiago’s faith is rewarded, and he quickly hooks a marlin...a marlin so big he is unable to pull it in and finds himself being pulled by the giant fish for two days and two nights. HarperPerennialClassics brings great works of literature to life in digital format, upholding the highest standards in ebook production and celebrating reading in all its forms. Look for more titles in the HarperPerennial Classics collection to build your digital library. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Mika Erik Kriek, 2018-10-02 Join Mika, a cute little bear on secret quest to avoid hibernation so that she can see the beauty of the Northern Lights for herself! Mika is a little bear who loves to run and play all over the forest, but she soon learns that winter is on its way, and she is supposed to spend these long, cold months hibernating with her mother and father. When the Old Owl tells Mika about the Northern Lights that appear every winter, she can't stand the thought of missing something so beautiful, and so she sets out on a secret, snowy adventure to find them! |
| just go the f to sleep book: Just a Minute Yuyi Morales, 2016-03-15 This original trickster tale, with its vivacious illustrations and dynamic read-aloud text, is at once a spirited tribute to the rich traditions of Mexican culture and a perfect introduction to counting in both English and Spanish. |
| just go the f to sleep book: I Can't Sleep J. E. Rowney, 2020-09-11 I can't sleep. Not since June 16th, 2018. Not since what happened... Traumatised by the events of her past, exhausted by insomnia, Becky Braithwaite believes that a new start will help her to recover. She leaves home to fulfil her brother's dreams, and honour the life he never had... but she soon finds that escaping from the past is not as easy as she imagined. Is her fatigued mind playing tricks on her, or is danger really lurking in the shadows? This unputdownable psychological thriller will keep you turning the pages to find out the truth. Goodreads reviewers say: A quick read, one of those books you started and needed to finish to find out the what, why, how and when. I was immediately hooked from the first page until the last and found it a true page turner. It is filled with suspense and mystery and leaves you questioning who is behind it all. I was not expecting the ending at all which gives it bonus points from me. I was delightfully on edge the entire read. Not usually something I say with a smile on my face, but I am apparently here for the heart-pounding thrill. Great book that really makes you think. I thought I would just dip in and out of this one whilst reading other things, but I was very wrong - I couldn't put it down and finished it in one afternoon. I love thrillers but a lot seem to be the same generic plot retold. However this book is different in a good way. Kept me guessing right till the end. Loved the ending. If you are someone who likes a good mystery and are looking for an intriguing, adrenaline filled read definitely pick this one! |
| just go the f to sleep book: Angry Black White Boy, Or, The Miscegenation of Mason Detornay Adam Mansbach, 2005 From the critically acclaimed author of Shackling Water comes an incendiary and ruthlessly funny novel about violence, pop culture, and identity in 21st-century America. |
| just go the f to sleep book: The Wim Hof Method Wim Hof, 2022-04-14 THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLING PHENOMENOM 'I've never felt so alive' JOE WICKS 'The book will change your life' BEN FOGLE My hope is to inspire you to retake control of your body and life by unleashing the immense power of the mind. 'The Iceman' Wim Hof shares his remarkable life story and powerful method for supercharging your strength, health and happiness. Refined over forty years and championed by scientists across the globe, you'll learn how to harness three key elements of Cold, Breathing and Mindset to master mind over matter and achieve the impossible. 'Wim is a legend of the power ice has to heal and empower' BEAR GRYLLS 'Thor-like and potent...Wim has radioactive charisma' RUSSELL BRAND |
| just go the f to sleep book: Letter from Birmingham Jail MARTIN LUTHER KING JR., Martin Luther King, 2018 This landmark missive from one of the greatest activists in history calls for direct, non-violent resistance in the fight against racism, and reflects on the healing power of love. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Pete the Cat and the Bedtime Blues James Dean et al., Kim Dean, James Dean, 2023-04 Pete the Cat and his friends are having so much fun playing in the sun, they don't want the day to end. Pete has an idea, how about a sleepover? As the night gets later, it's time for bed. Pete's friends aren't ready to go to sleep just yet. Then Pete has another idea, but will it work? |
| just go the f to sleep book: The Sleep Book Guy Meadows, 2014 Supported by case studies, background information, exercises, key summaries and client testimonials, and enhanced with illustrations and visual aids, 'The Sleep Book' teaches a revolutionary new method for combating insomnia. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Operating Systems Remzi H. Arpaci-Dusseau, Andrea C. Arpaci-Dusseau, 2018-09 This book is organized around three concepts fundamental to OS construction: virtualization (of CPU and memory), concurrency (locks and condition variables), and persistence (disks, RAIDS, and file systems--Back cover. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Fahrenheit 451 Ray Bradbury, 1993 A book burner in a future fascist state finds out books are a vital part of a culture he never knew. He clandestinely pursues reading, until he is betrayed. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Seriously, Just Go to Sleep Adam Mansbach, 2014-09-11 Now there's a version, complete with more of the gorgeous, yet weirdly subversive illustrations. The best part? It's still funny. The rhythms, the plodding rhymes, the illustrations, the clever play on the overused trope of the world at bedtime -- they all work together to take Seriously, Just Go to Sleep beyond parody and into the realm where good children's books belong: things that parents, and children, can honestly come to from different places and enjoy together. I can imagine reading Seriously, Go to Sleep nightly, and even to the point where you're begging the child to choose something else (the ultimate compliment for a picture book) and yet still finding something to enjoy. It captures a different 'zeitgeist' of modern parenting. --New York Times From the team that touched off the irreverent humor trend Go the F**k to Sleep, author Adam Mansbach and illustrator Ricardo Cortes, comes a new kid-friendly version of their instant comic classic. Seriously, Just Go to Sleep brings children in on the joke, helping them understand their own tactics and why their parents just want them to go . . . to sleep. --Publishers Weekly Critical success for the original Go the F*** to Sleep, a #1 best seller at: New York Times, Amazon.com, Wall Street Journal, Publishers Weekly, and many more! Seriously, Just Go to Sleep is the G-rated, traditional-sized, children's version of the book every parent has been talking about. Go the F*** to Sleep, the picture book for adults, became a cultural sensation by striking a universal chord for parents. Now, Adam Mansbach and Ricardo Cortés reunite with Seriously, Just Go to Sleep, inviting the children themselves in on the joke. As parents know, kids are well aware of how difficult they can be at bedtime. With Cortés's updated illustrations (including a cameo appearance by Samuel L. Jackson, who narrated the audio book version of Go the F*** to Sleep) and Mansbach's new child-appropriate narrative, the book allows kids to recognize their tactics, giggle at their own mischievousness, and empathize with their parents' struggles--a perspective most children's books don't capture. Most importantly, it provides a common ground for children and their parents to talk about one of the most stressful aspects of parenting. Seriously, Just Go to Sleep came to be when Mansbach read a highly censored rendition of the original book to his three-year-old daughter, and she recognized herself as the culprit and was delighted. We were getting a lot of feedback from parents, saying that their kids loved the book--read in an altered form--because they recognized themselves in the character of the mischievous kid who's winning the bedtime battle, and thought it was hilarious. So we figured we’d do a companion volume that lets kids in on the fun. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Go the F**k to Sleep Adam Mansbach, 2011-07-06 Go the Fk to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, California Book Award-winning author Adam Mansbach’s verses perfectly capture the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. In the process, they open up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations, and laugh at their absurdity. With illustrations by Ricardo Cortés, Go the Fuck to Sleep is beautiful, subversive and pants-wettingly funny—a book for parents new, old and expectant. You probably should not read it to your children. The cats nestle close to their kittens, The lambs have laid down with the sheep. You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear. Please go the fk to sleep. The windows are dark in the town, child. The whales huddle down in the deep. I’ll read you one very last book if you swear You’ll go the fk to sleep. The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest And the creatures who crawl, run, and creep. I know you’re not thirsty. That’s bullshit. Stop lying. Lie the fk down, my darling, and sleep. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Go the F**k to Sleep Adam Mansbach, Ricardo Cortés, 2011-10-27 This is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don't always send a toddler sailing off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate and refreshingly honest, it captures the familiar and unspoken tribulations of putting your child to bed for the night. |
| just go the f to sleep book: No Kids Allowed Michelle Ann Abate, 2020-10-13 Children's literature isn't just for children anymore. This original study explores the varied forms and roles of children's literature—when it's written for adults. What do Adam Mansbach's Go the F**k to Sleep and Barbara Park's MA! There's Nothing to Do Here! have in common? These large-format picture books are decidedly intended for parents rather than children. In No Kids Allowed, Michelle Ann Abate examines a constellation of books that form a paradoxical new genre: children's literature for adults. Distinguishing these books from YA and middle-grade fiction that appeals to adult readers, Abate argues that there is something unique about this phenomenon. Principally defined by its form and audience, children's literature, Abate demonstrates, engages with more than mere nostalgia when recast for grown-up readers. Abate examines how board books, coloring books, bedtime stories, and series detective fiction written and published specifically for adults question the boundaries of genre and challenge the assumption that adulthood and childhood are mutually exclusive. |
| just go the f to sleep book: Never Lose a Customer Again Joey Coleman, 2018-04-03 Award-winning speaker and business consultant Joey Coleman teaches audiences and companies all over the world how to turn a one-time purchaser into a lifelong customer. Coleman's theory of building customer loyalty isn't about focusing on marketing or closing the sale: It's about the First 100 Days® after the sale and the interactions the customer experiences. While new customers experience joy, euphoria, and excitement, these feelings quickly shift to fear, doubt, and uncertainty as buyer's remorse sets in. Across all industries, somewhere between 20%-70% of newly acquired customers will stop doing business with a company with the first 100 days of being a new customer because they feel neglected in the early stages of customer onboarding. In Never Lose a Customer Again, Coleman offers a philosophy and methodology for dramatically increasing customer retention and as a result, the bottom line. He identifies eight distinct emotional phases customers go through in the 100 days following a purchase. From an impulse buy at Starbucks to the thoughtful purchase of a first house, all customers have the potential to experience the eight phases of the customer journey. If you can understand and anticipate the customers' emotions, you can apply a myriad of tools and techniques -- in-person, email, phone, mail, video, and presents -- to cement a long and valuable relationship. Coleman's system is presented through research and case studies showing how best-in-class companies create remarkable customer experiences at each step in the customer lifecycle. In the Acclimate stage, customers need you to hold their hand and over-explain how to use your product or service. They're often too embarrassed to admit they're confused. Take a cue from Canadian software company PolicyMedical and their challenge of getting non-technical users to undergo a complex installation and implementation process. They turned a series of project spreadsheets and installation manuals into a beautiful puzzle customers could assemble after completing each milestone. In the Adopt stage, customers should be welcomed to the highest tier of tribal membership with both public and private recognitions. For instance, Sephora's VIB Rogue member welcome gift provides a metallic membership card (private recognition) and a members-only shade of lipstick (for public display). In the final stage, Advocate, loyal customers and raving fans are primed to provide powerful referrals. That's how elite entrepreneurial event MastermindTalks continues to sell-out their conference year after year - with zero dollars spent on marketing. By surprising their loyal fans with amazing referral bonuses (an all-expenses paid safari?!) they guarantee their community will keep providing perfect referrals. Drawing on nearly two decades of consulting and keynoting, Coleman provides strategies and systems to increase customer loyalty. Applicable to companies in any industry and of any size (whether measured in employee count, revenue, or total number of customers), implementing his methods regularly leads to an increase in profits of 25-100%. Working with well-known clients like Hyatt Hotels, Zappos, and NASA, as well as mom-and-pop shops and solo entrepreneurs around the world, Coleman's customer retention system has produced incredible results in dozens of industries. His approach to creating remarkable customer experiences requires minimal financial investment and will be fun for owners, employees, and teams to implement. This book is required reading for business owners, CEOs, and managers - as well as sales and marketing teams, account managers, and customer service representatives looking for easy to implement action steps that result in lasting change, increased profits, and lifelong customer retention. |
| just go the f to sleep book: I Will Not Go the F**k to Sleep Richard Crasta, 2011-06-04 What if a child, asked to go the f**k to sleep by its father, could respond in adult language? What if 5000 Indian yogis simultaneously dropped hot coffee on their laps in 5000 McDonalds to balance India's budget? How about selling used nukes to help balance the budget deficit? By the father of 3 boys and one Inner Brat that refuses to go to sleep or to grow up, this broad anthology of humor is his bestselling e-book. Pythonesque, silly, and sophisticated at the same time, according to reviewers. I WILL NOT GO THE F**K TO SLEEP is an anytime book for adults who refuse to grow up or to go to sleep in this unreal and wacky world of jet-setting yogis, retired nukes, and presidents named Bush. Profane, compassionate, wickedly funny at times, it captures a world and a humor that is fresh, subversive, and often thought-provoking. You probably should not read it to your children under 15; but don’t be surprised if they decide to read it to you. Hysterical and informative. For the rebel in you. Great style and humor--Linda J. Lundy, 5-star review This edition restores the ORIGINAL cover which was so popular with readers. |
JUST Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster
Jun 14, 2012 · The meaning of JUST is having a basis in or conforming to fact or reason : reasonable. How to use just in a sentence. Synonym Discussion of Just.
JUST | English meaning - Cambridge Dictionary
JUST definition: 1. now, very soon, or very recently: 2. a very short time ago: 3. at the present time: . Learn more.
JUST Definition & Meaning | Dictionary.com
guided by truth, reason, justice, and fairness. We hope to be just in our understanding of such difficult situations. done or made according to principle; equitable; proper. a just reply. based …
Just - definition of just by The Free Dictionary
You use just to say that something happened a very short time ago. British speakers usually use the present perfect with just. For example, they say 'I've just arrived'.
Just Definition & Meaning - YourDictionary
Honorable and fair in one's dealings and actions. A just ruler. Right or fair; equitable; impartial. A just decision. Righteous; upright. A just man. Properly due or merited. Just deserts. Deserved; …
JUST - Definition & Translations | Collins English Dictionary
If you describe a situation, action, or idea as just, you mean that it is right or acceptable according to particular moral principles, such as respect for all human beings.
JUST definition and meaning | Collins English Dictionary
You use just to say that something happened a very short time ago, or is starting to happen at the present time. For example, if you say that someone has just arrived, you mean that they …
JUST definition in American English | Collins English Dictionary
You use just to indicate that something is no more important, interesting, or difficult, for example, than you say it is, especially when you want to correct a wrong idea that someone may get or …
Just - Definition, Meaning & Synonyms - Vocabulary.com
Just means "fair." When something is morally and ethically sound, it's just. If you are a just teacher, you won't give your student an F just because his mother is rude to you.
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JUST Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster
Jun 14, 2012 · The meaning of JUST is having a basis in or conforming to fact or reason : reasonable. How to use just in a sentence. Synonym Discussion of …
JUST | English meaning - Cambridge Dictionary
JUST definition: 1. now, very soon, or very recently: 2. a very short time ago: 3. at the present time: . Learn more.
JUST Definition & Meaning | Dictionary.com
guided by truth, reason, justice, and fairness. We hope to be just in our understanding of such difficult …
Just - definition of just by The Free Dictionary
You use just to say that something happened a very short time ago. British speakers usually use the present perfect with just. For example, they say 'I've just arrived'.
Just Definition & Meaning - YourDictionary
Honorable and fair in one's dealings and actions. A just ruler. Right or fair; equitable; impartial. A just decision. …
