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| how to love after trauma: Healing Together Suzanne B. Phillips, Dianne Kane, 2009-01-02 When one or both partners in a relationship experience a major traumatic event, the strain can really put the relationship in jeopardy; Healing Together offers couples simple techniques for communicating, regaining trust, and supporting one another through the process of trauma recovery. |
| how to love after trauma: The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship Diane England, 2009-07-18 War, physical and sexual abuse, and natural disasters. All crises have one thing in common: Victims often suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and their loved ones suffer right along with them. In this book, couples will learn how to have a healthy relationship, in spite of a stressful and debilitating disorder. They'll learn how to: —Deal with emotions regarding their partner's PTSD —Talk about the traumatic event(s) —Communicate about the effects of PTSD to their children —Handle sexual relations when a PTSD partner has suffered a traumatic sexual event —Help their partner cope with everyday life issues When someone has gone through a traumatic event in his or her life, he or she needs a partner more than ever. This is the complete guide to keeping the relationship strong and helping both partners recover in happy, healthy ways. |
| how to love after trauma: After Trauma Ali W. Rothrock, 2022 We all have the ability to redefine ourselves, to feel hope about what lies ahead, and to choose our own way forward. After Trauma is a story of adversity, grit, defiance, choice, and hope. Each chapter offers a lesson to help readers overcome their own trauma, including concrete and actionable advice on how to re-story a life after adversity. |
| how to love after trauma: Wired for Love Stan Tatkin, 2024-06-01 Invaluable for so many partners looking to reconnect and grow closer together. —Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop Stan Tatkin can be entirely followed into the towering infernos of our most painful relationship challenges. —Alanis Morissette, artist, activist, and wholeness advocate The complete “insider’s guide” to understanding your partner’s brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust—now with more than 170,000 copies sold. “What the heck is my partner thinking?” “Why do they always react like this?” “How can we get back that connection we had in the beginning?” If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you aren’t alone, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Every person is wired for love differently—with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people’s minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how. Drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition of Wired for Love presents cutting-edge research on how and why love lasts, and offers ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition also includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help you create a sense of safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third—any outside source which threatens the harmony in your relationship, including in-laws, alcohol, children, and affairs. You’ll find proven-effective strategies to help you strengthen your relationship by: Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening routines to stay connected Learning how to see your partner’s point of view Meeting each other halfway in a fight Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By using simple gestures and words, you’ll learn to put out emotional fires and help your partner feel appreciated and loved. You’ll also discover how to move past a “warring brain” mentality and toward a more cooperative “loving brain.” Most importantly, you’ll gain a better understanding of the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you understand how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences, and create a lasting intimate connection. |
| how to love after trauma: Back from the Front Aphrodite Matsakis, 2007 |
| how to love after trauma: Baffled by Love Laurie Kahn, 2017 A therapist offers glimpses of her own rocky history, interwoven with stories of her clients--who as children were abused by the very people they loved and trusted--creating a textured tale of the all-too-human search for the good kind of love. |
| how to love after trauma: How to Love Your Business Nicole Lewis-Keeber, 2021-04-16 What does it mean to have a business that you love and that loves you back?As a business therapist, Nicole sees business owners and entrepreneurs every day who are stressed out by their businesses feel alone, unsupported and overwhelmed by their schedules. No one drops their personal baggage at the door when they start a business. In fact, starting a business means entering into a relationship, just like a friendship or romance. And just like in human-to-human relationships, if we don't set clear boundaries, and work to practice them mindfully, we're bound to default into toxic behaviors from our past. In other words, we bring our emotional challenges into our businesses with us, and when we ignore this, we get in trouble. In this book, Nicole shares her story of how she almost gave up on her business and dreams when she realized that she had created a business that was demanding and demeaning instead of loving and supportive. If you had trauma in your childhood it will impact all your relationships-and that includes the relationship that you're building with your business. We recreate patterns that we grow up with because they feel familiar and because we've been taught to compartmentalize our lives and drop our baggage at the door when we go to the office or start a business. There's no room for emotions, vulnerability, or mental health problems when it comes to workplaces. But the truth is, you will get more out of your business if you integrate all parts of yourself.Based on her experience of over 18-plus years as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and therapist, as well as her completion of Brené Brown's The Daring Way(TM) and Dare To Lead(TM) methodologies, Nicole outlines a process to redefine the relationship you have with your business. She'll walk you through how to identify your values so you know when you're in and out of integrity; craft an authentic mission and vision statement; make space for your business; create the boundaries needed for you and your business to thrive; love your inner critic; examine your relationship with money and create an Emotional Sustainability Plan that will act as a compass to help you make aligned daily decisions about your business. All of this so you can make more money, feel more connected to your business and clients as well as have a business that is emotionally sustainable. |
| how to love after trauma: Thriving After Trauma Shari Botwin, 2019-11-04 Thriving After Trauma offers insight into overcoming trauma related to an array of circumstances including physical and sexual abuse, war-related injury, loss due to accident or illness, and natural disasters. Tips, tools, and personal stories shed light on how to let go of the shame, guilt, anger and despair after experiencing trauma. |
| how to love after trauma: Heartwounds Tian Dayton, 2023-01-24 Trauma has been defined as an interruption of an affiliative or relationship bond. If left unsettled, past grief and psychological trauma can continue to impact our adult relationships and cause us pain in our entire lives. It's possible we may not even realize what is happening to us because usually relationships fail in parts rather than in total. Early childhood losses or traumas can create pain that is relived in adult intimate relationships. Intimacy can provide both an arena for re-enacting old pain and/or healing it. In this fascinating work, noted psychodramatist Tian Dayton shows readers how relationships can be used as a vehicle for healing, personal growth and spiritual transformation. Through fascinating case studies and probing exercises, Dayton helps readers get in touch with the deepest parts of themselves and heal the wounds that plague them. |
| how to love after trauma: Healing from Trauma Jasmin Lee Cori, 2009-02-23 Psychotherapist and trauma survivor Jasmin Lee Cori offers new insight into trauma-related difficulties (including PTSD, depression, substance abuse), provides self-care tools, candor about therapy and medications, and addresses spiritual issues. While there are many different approaches to healing trauma, few offer a wide range of perspectives and options. With innovative insight into trauma-related difficulties, Jasmin Lee Cori helps you: Understand trauma and its devastating impacts; Identify symptoms of trauma (dissociation, numbing, etc.) and common mental health problems that stem from trauma; Manage traumatic reactions and memories; Create a more balanced life that supports your recovery; Choose appropriate interventions (therapies, self-help groups, medications and alternatives); Recognize how far you've come in your healing and what you need to keep growing. Complete with exercises, healing stories, points to remember, and resources, this is a perfect companion for anyone seeking to reclaim their life from the devastating impacts of trauma. |
| how to love after trauma: The Body Keeps the Score Bessel van der Kolk, M.D., 2014-09-25 #1 New York Times bestseller “Essential reading for anyone interested in understanding and treating traumatic stress and the scope of its impact on society.” —Alexander McFarlane, Director of the Centre for Traumatic Stress Studies A pioneering researcher transforms our understanding of trauma and offers a bold new paradigm for healing in this New York Times bestseller Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores innovative treatments—from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga—that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain’s natural neuroplasticity. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score exposes the tremendous power of our relationships both to hurt and to heal—and offers new hope for reclaiming lives. |
| how to love after trauma: Transformation After Trauma Yabome Gilpin-Jackson, 2020 This book expands on the idea of transformation after trauma through the concept of Resonance. Resonance is presented as the key to posttraumatic growth and transformation and provides practical guidance for accessing it. Resonance is defined as a moment of awakening, through personal stories, that creates an opportunity for transformational learning. This book presents an integrative, holistic and narrative development understanding to individual, organizational and social systems change and transformation after trauma. It proposes a Trauma-Informed Narrative Development Pathway for consideration at all levels of systems and institutions who support people post-trauma. Resonance is critical, timely, and relevant now more than ever. As we continue to work for a world of social justice where preventable sufferings are no longer normalized, a posttraumatic transformation lens allows us to take a developmental perspective to supporting ourselves and those among us touched by trauma to achieve transformational outcomes. In a world with ongoing suffering, the ability to return to core identity memories and access greater connection and love for humanity unleashes the desire to take actions to create a better world for all. |
| how to love after trauma: Allies in Healing Laura Davis, 2012-11-13 But what about me? Is it possible to go one day without dealing with the survivor's issues? Will we ever make love again? Will the survivor love me in the end? How do I know if I should throw in the towel? Based on in-depth interviews and her workshops for partners across the country, Laura Davis offers practical advice and encouragement to all partners—girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses, and lovers—trying to support the survivors in their lives while tending to their own needs along the way. She shows couples how to deepen compassion, improve communication, and develop an understanding of healing as a shared activity. Addressing partners' most important questions, Allies in Healing covers: The Basics—answers common questions about sexual abuse. Allies in Healing—introduces key concepts of working and growing together. My Needs and Feelings—teaches partners to recognize, value, and express their own needs. Dealing with Crisis—includes strategies for handling suicidal feelings, regression, and hopelessness. Intimacy and Communication—offers practical advice on dealing with distancing, control, trust, and fighting. Sex—provides guidelines for coping with flashbacks, lack of desire, differences in sexual needs, and frustration. Family lssues—suggests a range of ideas for interacting with the survivor's family. Partners' Stories—explores the struggles, triumphs, and courage of eight partners. |
| how to love after trauma: The Love Trauma Syndrome Richard B. Rosse, 2007-10-12 Love is one of the most exhilarating emotions we experience--unfortunately, it is also one of the most painful and sometimes traumatic. The unresolved emotional scars from a broken heart can manifest as a love trauma syndrome. Until now, a love trauma was thought to precipitate other common psychiatric conditions, such as depression or adjustment disorders, but these generic psychiatric ailments are not adequate for articulating the full and unique character of the condition following love trauma. The Love Trauma Syndrome: Free Yourself from the Pain of a Broken Heart fills the need of patients feeling isolated, ashamed, or alone in their anguish. Dr. Richard Rosse, a psychiatrist with expertise in the area of emotional breakdown, provides a concrete path to help people understand this condition. At times, the syndrome can seriously diminish the sufferer's quality of life, and dramatically impair social, academic, and occupational activities. Dr. Rosse warns that there can also be bouts of severe manifestations, things go horribly wrong. Patients may end up committing suicide. A few become so obsessed by their lost loves that they are driven to stalk, attack, or murder these persons and then ultimately commit suicide. However, most patients suffer alone and in silence without ever resorting to an act of physical violence.Dr. Rosse clearly explains that Love Trauma Syndrome is a clinical disorder of too much memory in which the past intrudes upon the present to influence thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to a much greater extent than is expected. It can also be associated with a variety of other behavioral problems: the avoidance of future loving relationships, nervousness, feeling unreal or out of place, anger, and sleep disturbances. The book will educate mental health clinicians on how to recognize and treat people with the syndrome, and Dr. Rosse discusses a variety of psychotherapeutic and pharmacological treatment options and their rationale.The Love Trauma Syndrome is the first book to describe the condition and to present a full array of self-help strategies and specific techniques tailored to help those suffering from a love trauma. Designed for both lay and professional audiences, it is the ideal resource for anyone--male or female, young or old, gay or straight--hurt by love to understand what to do to escape the bleak prison of misery. |
| how to love after trauma: When Someone You Love Suffers from Posttraumatic Stress Claudia Zayfert, Jason C. DeViva, 2011-06-08 For trauma survivors struggling with intense memories and emotions, it often feels like life won't ever be normal again. Effective treatments are out there, but the needs of family members are often overlooked. Will the person you love ever get better? What can you do to promote healing? Where can you turn when you just can't cope? From experienced trauma specialists Drs. Claudia Zayfert and Jason C. DeViva, this compassionate guide is packed with information, support, vivid stories, and specific advice. Learn to navigate the rough spots day by day and help your loved one find a brighter tomorrow. Mental health professionals, see also the related treatment manual, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for PTSD. Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT) Self-Help Book of Merit |
| how to love after trauma: The Betrayal Bond Patrick Carnes, 1997-11 Divorce, incest, child abuse, domestic violence, kidnapping . . . are situations of incredible intensity where there is an exploitation of trust or power. Dr. Patrick Carnes presents an in-depth study of such relationships, how to recognize when traumatic bonding has occurred, and the steps to take to extricate oneself or a loved one from the relationship. |
| how to love after trauma: Partner Betrayal Trauma Step Guide Douglas Weiss, 2019-04-15 |
| how to love after trauma: What Happened to You? Oprah Winfrey, Bruce D. Perry, 2021-04-27 ONE MILLION COPIES SOLD #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Our earliest experiences shape our lives far down the road, and What Happened to You? provides powerful scientific and emotional insights into the behavioral patterns so many of us struggle to understand. “Through this lens we can build a renewed sense of personal self-worth and ultimately recalibrate our responses to circumstances, situations, and relationships. It is, in other words, the key to reshaping our very lives.”—Oprah Winfrey This book is going to change the way you see your life. Have you ever wondered Why did I do that? or Why can't I just control my behavior? Others may judge our reactions and think, What's wrong with that person? When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question. Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” Here, Winfrey shares stories from her own past, understanding through experience the vulnerability that comes from facing trauma and adversity at a young age. In conversation throughout the book, she and Dr. Perry focus on understanding people, behavior, and ourselves. It’s a subtle but profound shift in our approach to trauma, and it’s one that allows us to understand our pasts in order to clear a path to our future—opening the door to resilience and healing in a proven, powerful way. |
| how to love after trauma: Want Julie Peters, 2019-05-02 “Peters takes readers on her own personal journey from trauma to reconnecting with her body, emotions, and eventually her own desire and sexuality.” —Xanet Pailet, bestselling author of Living an Orgasmic Life We know, increasingly, how common and devastating sexual violence is for women, but we don’t always talk about how survivors can recover from the trauma and return to desire, sexuality, trust, and pleasure. Want is the story of how Julie Peters did just that—and how you can, too. In the years after the assault, Julie was in what she calls the fog of trauma: the colorless, tasteless experience of barely getting through the day. No one—not counsellors, support groups, or other survivors—could give her any advice about how to find the desire that could bring her back to joy, intimacy, and connection. She had to make it up on her own. In Want, Julie tells the story of getting from the devastation of trauma to living a full life in eight sometimes challenging, often bumbling, and occasionally delightful steps. Your loved ones may not know how to support you, but they can learn more about your experiences and how to walk alongside you through this book, just as you can learn how to recover from the trauma you’ve experienced. Want offers a window into one person’s experience of recovery—plus the happy ending we all need to know is possible after trauma. “With unwavering honesty, penetrating insight, warmth, humor, and aplomb, she lays out strategies for a tangible, nourishing, and vitally ferocious self-love.” —Jeremy Radin, poet, author of Dear Sal |
| how to love after trauma: Healing Traum Peter A. Levine, 2010-10-19 Researchers have shown that survivors of accidents, disaster, and childhood trauma often endure lifelong symptoms ranging from anxiety and depression to unexplained physical pain, fatigue, illness, and harmful acting out behaviors reflecting these painful events. Today, millions in both the bodywork and the psychotherapeutic fields are turning to Peter A. Levine's breakthrough Somatic Experiencing(tm) methods to effectively overcome these challenges.Now available in paperback for the first time, Healing Trauma offers readers the personal how-to guide for using the theory Dr. Levine first introduced in his highly acclaimed work Waking the Tiger (North Atlantic Books, 1997), including:How to develop body awareness to re-negotiate and heal traumas rather than relive them * emergency first-aid measures for emotional distress * A 60-minute CD of guided Somatic Experiencing techniques Trauma is a fact of life, teaches Peter Levine, but it doesn't have to be a life sentence. Now, with one fully integrated self-healing tool, he shares his essential methods to address unexplained symptoms of trauma at their source the body to return us to the natural state we are meant to live in. |
| how to love after trauma: Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors Janina Fisher, 2017-02-24 Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors integrates a neurobiologically informed understanding of trauma, dissociation, and attachment with a practical approach to treatment, all communicated in straightforward language accessible to both client and therapist. Readers will be exposed to a model that emphasizes resolution—a transformation in the relationship to one’s self, replacing shame, self-loathing, and assumptions of guilt with compassionate acceptance. Its unique interventions have been adapted from a number of cutting-edge therapeutic approaches, including Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Internal Family Systems, mindfulness-based therapies, and clinical hypnosis. Readers will close the pages of Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors with a solid grasp of therapeutic approaches to traumatic attachment, working with undiagnosed dissociative symptoms and disorders, integrating right brain-to-right brain treatment methods, and much more. Most of all, they will come away with tools for helping clients create an internal sense of safety and compassionate connection to even their most dis-owned selves. |
| how to love after trauma: Moving Beyond Betrayal Vicki Tidwell Palmer, 2016-05-16 A go-to guide on how to confront, heal from, and ultimately thrive after the devastation of betrayal by a partner's compulsive sexual or other addictive behavior The first book specifically for partners affected by addictive behavior that addresses, in detail, how to identify, create, and maintain boundaries as a vital component of self-care and an indispensable tool for healing and growth. Through working the 5-Step Boundary Solution partners will gain clarity; reduce the chaos inherent in relationships impacted by sex addiction; feel more empowered and in control of their lives; discover whether or not their relationship with the addict is salvageable. Vicki Tidwell Palmer is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP) in private practice in Houston, Texas. She is the author of the blog for partners Survival Strategies for Partners of Sex Addicts. |
| how to love after trauma: Developmental Couple Therapy for Complex Trauma Heather B. MacIntosh, 2019-04-09 Developmental Couple Therapy for Complex Trauma provides therapists with comprehensive and practical guidance for integrating DCTCT into their work with traumatized couples. The book includes an evidence-based framework which emphasizes the importance of containing conflict and helps clients to build emotional regulation and mentalizing skills. The framework is an invaluable asset to all clinicians working with couples dealing with the ravaging impacts of complex trauma, who may not be able to benefit from traditional forms of couple therapy due to challenges in regulating emotions, mentalizing and other aspects of the complex trauma response that limit capacity to engage in relationships and couple therapy. The chapters guide you through the four key stages of DCTCT: Psychoeducation, Building Capacity, Dyadic Processing, and Consolidation. Each stage has accompanying activities and narratives in which to engage traumatized couples and includes a variety of case transcripts to illustrate the approach. Throughout the manual the author provides the reader with: insights from real-world scenarios based on her extensive clinical experience; worksheets that can be used as part of the therapeutic process; systematic analyses of the therapeutic process from the therapist’s point of view; comprehensive recommendations for further reading so that you can develop your expertise in any area of DCTCT. Never losing sight of the fact that the therapist plays an essential role as a coach and mentor for those undertaking couple therapy, this manual is a valuable tool for any clinician working to engage traumatized couples and equip them with the skills they need to develop and maintain a strong and vibrant couple relationship. |
| how to love after trauma: Attached Amir Levine, Rachel Heller, 2010-12-30 “Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip.” —The New York Times We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle. Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love. |
| how to love after trauma: Healing Anger Dalai Lama XIV Bstan-ʼdzin-rgya-mtsho, 1997 In this book the Dalai Lama shows how through the practice of patience and tolerance we can overcome the obstacles of anger and hatred. Be bases his discussion on A. Guide to the Bodhisattva\'s Way of Life, the classic work on the activities of Bodhisattvas--those who aspire to attain full enlightenment in order to benefit all beings. The techniques and methods presented are relevant not only for Buddhist practitioners but for all who seek to improve themselves. Through these teachings and by his own example, the Dalai Lama shows the power that patience and tolerance have to heal anger and to generate peace in the world. Born in Amdo, Tibet in 1935, TENZIN GYATSO was recognized as the Fourteenth Dalai Lama, spiritual and temporal leader of Tibet. He has served as head of the Tibetan government-in exile at Dharamsala, India, since the Chinese takeover of Tibet in 1959. Winner of the 1989 Nobel Peace Prize, today he is known the world over as a great spiritual teacher and a tireless worker for peace. |
| how to love after trauma: Upside Jim Rendon, 2016-08-23 Through cutting-edge research and thoughtful personal stories comes a “compassionate, friendly, and empathetic” (Kirkus Reviews) exploration of post-traumatic growth—the emerging idea that psychological trauma doesn’t destroy a person, but can instead spark future growth, self-improvement, and success. What if there’s an upside to experiencing trauma? Most survivors of trauma—whether they live through life-threatening illnesses or accidents, horror on the battlefield, or the loss of a loved one—can suffer for months, even years. But recently, psychologists have discovered that PTSD, or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, is only a piece of the whole experience. With the right circumstances and proper support, many trauma survivors also benefit after a terrible experience. They emerge stronger, more focused, and with a new perspective on their future. In the tradition of Po Bronson and Paul Tough, journalist Jim Rendon delivers a deeply reported and unique look at the life-changing implications of post-traumatic growth. The pain and anguish caused by traumatic events can become a force for dramatic life change. It can move people to find deeper meaning in their lives and drive them to help others. But how can terrible experiences lead to remarkable, positive breakthroughs? Upside seeks to answer just that by taking a penetrating look at this burgeoning new field of study. Comprised of interviews with leading researchers and dozens of inspiring stories, Rendon paints a vivid and comprehensive portrait of this groundbreaking field and offers a roadmap for anyone trying to understand how personal tragedy can lead to a more hopeful and positive future. |
| how to love after trauma: Radical Acceptance Tara Brach, 2004-11-23 In our current times of global crises and spiking collective anxiety, Tara Brach’s transformative practice of Radical Acceptance offers a pathway to inner freedom and a more compassionate world. This classic work now features an insightful new introduction, an exclusive bonus chapter, and additional guided meditations. “Radical Acceptance offers us an invitation to embrace ourselves with all our pain, fear, and anxieties, and to step lightly yet firmly on the path of understanding and compassion.”—Thich Nhat Hanh “Believing that something is wrong with us is a deep and tenacious suffering,” says Tara Brach at the start of this illuminating book. This suffering emerges in crippling self-judgments and conflicts in our relationships, in addictions and perfectionism, in loneliness and overwork—all the forces that keep our lives constricted and unfulfilled. Radical Acceptance offers a path to freedom, including the day-to-day practical guidance developed over Dr. Brach’s forty years of work with therapy clients and Buddhist students. Writing with great warmth and clarity, Tara Brach brings her teachings alive through personal stories and case histories, fresh interpretations of Buddhist tales, and guided meditations. Step by step, she shows us how we can stop being at war with ourselves and begin to live fully every precious moment of our lives. |
| how to love after trauma: Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess Dr. Caroline Leaf, 2021-03-02 Toxic thoughts, depression, anxiety--our mental mess is frequently aggravated by a chaotic world and sustained by an inability to manage our runaway thoughts. But we shouldn't settle into this mental mess as if it's just our new normal. There's hope and help available to us--and the road to healthier thoughts and peak happiness may actually be shorter than you think. Backed by clinical research and illustrated with compelling case studies, Dr. Caroline Leaf provides a scientifically proven five-step plan to find and eliminate the root of anxiety, depression, and intrusive thoughts in your life so you can experience dramatically improved mental and physical health. In just 21 days, you can start to clean up your mental mess and be on the road to wholeness, peace, and happiness. |
| how to love after trauma: Your Life After Trauma Michele Rosenthal, 2015-03-17 Restoring your sense of self after trauma. “In 1981 as a thirteen-year-old child I was given a routine antibiotic for a routine infection and suffered anything but a routine reaction. An undiscovered allergy to the medication turned me into a full-body burn victim almost overnight. By the time I was released from the hospital I had lost 100% of my epidermis. Even more importantly, I had completely lost myself.” Now a professional coach who specializes in helping trauma victims rebuild their lives, Michele Rosenthal struggled with the effects of medically-induced post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) for over 25 years before reaching a full recovery. Today, she is 100% free of symptoms of PTSD. In this book, she applies her personal experience and professional wisdom to offer readers an invaluable roadmap to overcoming their own trauma, in particular the loss of sense of self that often accompanies it. If you suffer from the effects of trauma or PTSD, whether it was caused by a single-incident like a car accident, or from chronic childhood abuse, domestic violence, illness, or war trauma, you are well aware of how disconnected you feel from the person you most deeply wish to be. Trauma interrupts—even hijacks—your identity. To cope, you may rely on mechanisms to keep your emotions, triggers, and responses in check, but these very habits can often prevent the true restoration of safety, stability, and inner connection. How can you rediscover your sense of self so that you honor who you were before the trauma (even if that trauma began at birth), understand who you are at this very moment, and determine who you want to be going forward? Like a therapist in your back pocket, Your Life After Trauma guides you in finding answers to these tough questions. Expertly written by a helping professional who keenly understands the post-trauma identity crisis that is so common among trauma and PTSD sufferers, it is a simple, practical, hands-on recovery workbook. Filled with self-assessment questionnaires, exercises, tips, and tools—not to mention insightful personal and professional vignettes—it takes readers through a step-by-step process of healing the identity crisis, from understanding some of the basic brain science behind trauma and why you feel the way you do, to recognizing who you were (or had the potential to be) before the trauma, who you are today, after the trauma, and who you want to become. With this book by your side, it is possible to regain a sense of calm, confidence, and control on your road to recovery. |
| how to love after trauma: Betrayal Trauma Recovery Anne Blythe, 2019-05-05 A daily journal for women wondering if their husband's behavior is abusive. For women trying to determine if they should leave or stay. To help women decide if they want to divorce. A daily journal to help victims understand the reality and severity of their situation. For women who are considering separation or divorce due to their husband's lying, gaslighting, infidelity, emotional abuse, narcissistic behaviors. Visit btr.org for more information, and listen to the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast found on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify and other podcasting platforms. |
| how to love after trauma: The Sexual Healing Journey Wendy Maltz, 2001-02-20 Considered a classic in its field, this comprehensive guide will help survivors of sexual abuse improve their relationships and discover the joys of sexual intimacy. Wendy Maltz takes survivors step-by-step through the recovery process using groundbreaking exercises and techniques. Based on the author's clinical work, interviews, and workshops, this guide is filled with first-person accounts of women and men at every stage of sexual healing. This compassionate resource helps survivors to: Identify the sexual effects of sexual abuse Eliminate negative sexual behavior and resolve specific problems Gain control over upsetting automatic reactions to touch and sex Develop a healthy sexual self-concept |
| how to love after trauma: Dear Me, I Love You Kanchan Singh, 2021-11-08 I've got my monsters and they all look like my father. Even after starting a successful company at 24, expanding from Washington, DC to LA, and securing extensive national media coverage, Kanchan still suffered from self-destructive behavior, depression, and anxiety. Kanchan Singh, Founder and CEO of Crumbs and Whiskers, was doing great. But Kanchan was hanging by a thread. Deeply unhappy, insecure, and afraid, Kanchan began a journey of self-work to heal from the traumas she had buried deep within her in the process of becoming a successful entrepreneur. At the advice of her mentor, she began therapy to uncover wounds from her childhood (an absent and abusive father, an emotionally abusive mother, sexual assault, bullying, and immigrating to the US), and from doing arduous work and self-discovery, Kanchan arrived at self-love and healing. Dear Me, I Love You is the story of that healing. Through poetry, prose, and conversations with her therapist, Dear Me, I Love You explores the feelings and realizations Kanchan had in therapy. The book creates a map and guide of what it takes for a successful young woman to confront what she thought made her weak to come out from the shadows of her past. The book inspires others to feel their pain and heal from it, to overcome their limiting beliefs and conditionings, and become who they really are. Let Kanchan take you on her self-healing journey and explore with her what it takes to finally say to yourself, Dear Me, I Love You. |
| how to love after trauma: Posttraumatic Growth Richard G. Tedeschi, Jane Shakespeare-Finch, Kanako Taku, Lawrence G. Calhoun, 2018 Posttraumatic Growth reworks and overhauls the seminal 2006 Handbook of Posttraumatic Growth. It provides a wide range of answers to questions concerning knowledge of posttraumatic growth (PTG) theory, its synthesis and contrast with other theories and models, and its applications in diverse settings. The book starts with an overview of the history, components, and outcomes of PTG. Next, chapters review quantitative, qualitative, and cross-cultural research on PTG, including in relation to cognitive function, identity formation, cross-national and gender differences, and similarities and differences between adults and children. The final section shows readers how to facilitate optimal outcomes with PTG at the level of the individual, the group, the community, and society. |
| how to love after trauma: Never Tell Catherine McCall, 2014-05-12 Catherine McCall's childhood seemed postcard perfect: with her well-to-do, cosmopolitan parents, a private education, and two baby grand pianos, she had everything a girl could ever want. But as an adult, McCall began to remember terrible things, revealing that the idyllic childhood she had on paper was nothing more than a façade hiding her father's terrible secrets. Never Tell provides a lucid, gripping narrative on the survival and healing from childhood sexual assault. |
| how to love after trauma: Love and the Mystery of Betrayal Sandra Lee Dennis, 2014-08-19 What is it like to recover from betrayal of trust today in a culture that is blind to the trauma and impatient with grief? When her long-time partner suddenly left her shortly before their wedding, the author found nothing had prepared her for the depth and duration of the pain. Despite having lived through her husband's death years earlier, she was stunned by the intensity of the suffering and could not understand why this shock hit so hard. Her loss of faith in this one person precipitated an existential and spiritual crisis that called her very understanding of human nature into question, and she wanted to know why. As she wrested with what turned out to be a massive trauma, she began to keep careful notes of her inner life-hoping to capture the paradoxes of love, grief and longing mixed with bewilderment and post-traumatic stress. With fearlessness and bracing frankness, she succeeds. Love and the Mystery of Betrayal seamlessly blends research and reflection, love and heartbreak, rage and transformation, and the personal with the collective. The deep, engaging writing provides the type of solace only a kindred spirit who has been there can. This achingly moving chronicle and meditation on the mysteries of love and betrayal shows how faith and love can triumph even after the most life-shattering revelations and loss. This story of heartbreak has a rare quality: it is absolutely honest. -Ginette Paris, PhD, Heartbreak ...a powerful book that will serve many. -Tara Brach, PhD, Radical Acceptance, True Refuge Sandra Dennis does not sugar-coat the experience of abandonment and betrayal with easy tips on getting over it or with spiritual bypass sleight of hand.... A much needed contribution to our collective healing... -Francis Weller, Founder of Wisdom Bridge, Entering the Healing Ground What Sandra Dennis tells us about the transformative power of suffering is so important and so true. I hope many read this book; many surely are in need of it. -Fr. Richard Rohr, Silent Compassion, Breathing Underwater ...a rare and beautiful book...invaluable for anyone interested in harnessing the deepest human heartbreak as a crucible for spiritual awakening....a triumph of spirit. -Miranda Macpherson, Boundless Love ...a powerful and thoughtful book right from the heart that will be a source of comfort and assistance to a lot of hurting people. -Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? ...probes the subject of betrayal in an almost kinesthetic way, like a dance that is also superbly intelligent. -Charlie Fisher, PhD, Meditation in the Wild and Dismantling Discontent What a remarkable book Sandra Dennis has written! I celebrate her courage and discoveries, and welcome her home! -Gangaji, Hidden Treasure, A Diamond in Your Pocket |
| how to love after trauma: The Love Trauma Syndrome Richard B. Rosse, 2007-10-12 Love is one of the most exhilarating emotions we experience--unfortunately, it is also one of the most painful and sometimes traumatic. The unresolved emotional scars from a broken heart can manifest as a love trauma syndrome. Until now, a love trauma was thought to precipitate other common psychiatric conditions, such as depression or adjustment disorders, but these generic psychiatric ailments are not adequate for articulating the full and unique character of the condition following love trauma. The Love Trauma Syndrome: Free Yourself from the Pain of a Broken Heart fills the need of patients feeling isolated, ashamed, or alone in their anguish. Dr. Richard Rosse, a psychiatrist with expertise in the area of emotional breakdown, provides a concrete path to help people understand this condition. At times, the syndrome can seriously diminish the sufferer's quality of life, and dramatically impair social, academic, and occupational activities. Dr. Rosse warns that there can also be bouts of severe manifestations, things go horribly wrong. Patients may end up committing suicide. A few become so obsessed by their lost loves that they are driven to stalk, attack, or murder these persons and then ultimately commit suicide. However, most patients suffer alone and in silence without ever resorting to an act of physical violence.Dr. Rosse clearly explains that Love Trauma Syndrome is a clinical disorder of too much memory in which the past intrudes upon the present to influence thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to a much greater extent than is expected. It can also be associated with a variety of other behavioral problems: the avoidance of future loving relationships, nervousness, feeling unreal or out of place, anger, and sleep disturbances. The book will educate mental health clinicians on how to recognize and treat people with the syndrome, and Dr. Rosse discusses a variety of psychotherapeutic and pharmacological treatment options and their rationale.The Love Trauma Syndrome is the first book to describe the condition and to present a full array of self-help strategies and specific techniques tailored to help those suffering from a love trauma. Designed for both lay and professional audiences, it is the ideal resource for anyone--male or female, young or old, gay or straight--hurt by love to understand what to do to escape the bleak prison of misery. |
| how to love after trauma: Impact Haley JENNER, 2019-05-22 Warning: This book contains topics that may upset or offend readers, especially those who have previously experienced sexual violence.𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘯/ˈɪ𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘬𝘵/a marked effect or influenceMy life has been severed into two distinct origins.Before. 𝘈𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳.You don't need to know too much of my life before. It's no longer relevant to my story.The damage is mine. I'm a ghost. The shell of the girl from 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 striving to survive in the 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳.Love. Life. Friendship.I've pushed it all away in my fight to breathe another day.Who am I?No one.Worse, I've lost sight of 𝘸𝘩𝘺 I continue to endure.Until him.Until he reminds me of the girl of before. |
| how to love after trauma: Your Life After Trauma: Powerful Practices to Reclaim Your Identity Michele Rosenthal, 2015-05-16 Restoring your sense of self after trauma. “In 1981 as a thirteen-year-old child I was given a routine antibiotic for a routine infection and suffered anything but a routine reaction. An undiscovered allergy to the medication turned me into a full-body burn victim almost overnight. By the time I was released from the hospital I had lost 100% of my epidermis. Even more importantly, I had completely lost myself.” Now a professional coach who specializes in helping trauma victims rebuild their lives, Michele Rosenthal struggled with the effects of medically-induced post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) for over 25 years before reaching a full recovery. Today, she is 100% free of symptoms of PTSD. In this book, she applies her personal experience and professional wisdom to offer readers an invaluable roadmap to overcoming their own trauma, in particular the loss of sense of self that often accompanies it. If you suffer from the effects of trauma or PTSD, whether it was caused by a single-incident like a car accident, or from chronic childhood abuse, domestic violence, illness, or war trauma, you are well aware of how disconnected you feel from the person you most deeply wish to be. Trauma interrupts—even hijacks—your identity. To cope, you may rely on mechanisms to keep your emotions, triggers, and responses in check, but these very habits can often prevent the true restoration of safety, stability, and inner connection. How can you rediscover your sense of self so that you honor who you were before the trauma (even if that trauma began at birth), understand who you are at this very moment, and determine who you want to be going forward? Like a therapist in your back pocket, Your Life After Trauma guides you in finding answers to these tough questions. Expertly written by a helping professional who keenly understands the post-trauma identity crisis that is so common among trauma and PTSD sufferers, it is a simple, practical, hands-on recovery workbook. Filled with self-assessment questionnaires, exercises, tips, and tools—not to mention insightful personal and professional vignettes—it takes readers through a step-by-step process of healing the identity crisis, from understanding some of the basic brain science behind trauma and why you feel the way you do, to recognizing who you were (or had the potential to be) before the trauma, who you are today, after the trauma, and who you want to become. With this book by your side, it is possible to regain a sense of calm, confidence, and control on your road to recovery. |
| how to love after trauma: Get Out, Get Love Craig Newman, 2023-07-20 **You can now get FREE access to a 6-week self-compassion programme (previous cost: £40 - 12 months' access). Visit the Get Out Get Love website to find out more.** - Is this what they mean by abuse? - Why am I tolerating such a bad relationship? - Will I ever be able to get out and feel free? If you have ever asked yourself any of these questions, you may be, or have been, in an abusive relationship, even without realising. Every minute, more than 20 people in the UK or US are abused by their partner. Get Out, Get Love is an essential guide to the journey that anyone who is in, leaving or has left an abusive relationship must undertake. It takes the reader through three key stages - getting understanding (of the reasons we fall into abuse and why we tolerate it), getting out (escaping, breaking the cycle and staying away) and getting love (seeking closure, regaining trust and developing self love). Unlike other books on this subject, Get Out, Get Love focuses uniquely on putting control of the narrative in your hands. By helping you understand yourself better, it will show you how to embrace both growth and change, to create a future of freedom and joy. Author and psychologist Dr Craig Newman, who was himself in an abusive relationship, presents a supportive and proven recovery plan that has helped so many of his clients, and will help you, to Get Out and Get Love. Your journey starts here. **Use your receipt to claim a voucher to get free access to a 6-week self-compassion programme (usual cost, £40 - 12 months' access). Visit the Get Out Get Love website to find out more.** |
| how to love after trauma: Post Traumatic Rebirth - Complex PTSD Workbook Whit Maylove, Fill |
Wife went to a party where she was the only woman? (marriage, …
Dec 15, 2023 · I love the "giant cake" line! It's a good question. OP, what happened to the staring-at-other-guys issue? And if that had been a recurring problem in your marriage, why did you …
Hug those you love - Current Events -Non-political discussion of …
May 17, 2025 · But I don't want to say 'I love you' and hug every time we each other!, Non-Romantic Relationships, 86 replies Can you hug and love on a dog too much?, Dogs, 39 …
"Fiery, But mostly Peaceful" protests erupt in Los Angeles. Will this ...
Jun 10, 2025 · Yes. And it is really sad to say, because I have nothing against Hispanics in general, but I would love to see deadly force used on these particular people. They are doing a …
Indian women and black men? (dating, girlfriend, marry, love ...
Apr 28, 2011 · Well there are indian women (indian descendents with similar culture) from trinidad and tobago, guyana (basicly central america), and other places in africa and mauritius who are …
Relationships Forum - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, …
May 24, 2025 · Relationships - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ...
"Fiery, But mostly Peaceful" protests erupt in Los Angeles. Will this ...
The press is willing to admit that "The Summer of Love" killed at least 35 people. That's because they just stopped counting after a few weeks. Hundreds of people were seriously injured or …
Most realistic "love scenes" (cinema, theater, Sean Connery, …
Oct 22, 2014 · Maid Marian: I love you. More than all you know. I love you more than children. More than fields I've planted with my hands. I love you more than morning prayers or peace or …
Overheard my wife's conversation at a party (married, guys, lover ...
Jan 6, 2015 · I really thought I knew my wife. Now I'm not so sure. We've been married almost two years. Life's been very very good.
Lumen LIC Apartments LOTTERY (leases, condo, how much) - City …
Jan 23, 2025 · Received an email from Lumen and I love how they’re trying to be transparent! See below: “Dear galaxybrownie, We have received the lottery log for Lumen LIC Apartments …
Chris Rock: a man is only loved under the condition that he …
Feb 20, 2018 · Then you haven't exited your little sphere to be exposed to couples who really love each other. Over the weekend, I had lunch with a friend who was talking about her husband's …
Wife went to a party where she was the only woman? (marriage, …
Dec 15, 2023 · I love the "giant cake" line! It's a good question. OP, what happened to the staring-at-other-guys issue? And if that had been a recurring problem in your marriage, why did you …
Hug those you love - Current Events -Non-political discussion of …
May 17, 2025 · But I don't want to say 'I love you' and hug every time we each other!, Non-Romantic Relationships, 86 replies Can you hug and love on a dog too much?, Dogs, 39 …
"Fiery, But mostly Peaceful" protests erupt in Los Angeles. Will this ...
Jun 10, 2025 · Yes. And it is really sad to say, because I have nothing against Hispanics in general, but I would love to see deadly force used on these particular people. They are doing a …
Indian women and black men? (dating, girlfriend, marry, love ...
Apr 28, 2011 · Well there are indian women (indian descendents with similar culture) from trinidad and tobago, guyana (basicly central america), and other places in africa and mauritius who are …
Relationships Forum - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, …
May 24, 2025 · Relationships - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ...
"Fiery, But mostly Peaceful" protests erupt in Los Angeles. Will this ...
The press is willing to admit that "The Summer of Love" killed at least 35 people. That's because they just stopped counting after a few weeks. Hundreds of people were seriously injured or …
Most realistic "love scenes" (cinema, theater, Sean Connery, …
Oct 22, 2014 · Maid Marian: I love you. More than all you know. I love you more than children. More than fields I've planted with my hands. I love you more than morning prayers or peace or …
Overheard my wife's conversation at a party (married, guys, lover ...
Jan 6, 2015 · I really thought I knew my wife. Now I'm not so sure. We've been married almost two years. Life's been very very good.
Lumen LIC Apartments LOTTERY (leases, condo, how much) - City …
Jan 23, 2025 · Received an email from Lumen and I love how they’re trying to be transparent! See below: “Dear galaxybrownie, We have received the lottery log for Lumen LIC Apartments …
Chris Rock: a man is only loved under the condition that he …
Feb 20, 2018 · Then you haven't exited your little sphere to be exposed to couples who really love each other. Over the weekend, I had lunch with a friend who was talking about her husband's …
