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| how do you get yourself to fart: How to Fart at Work Mats and Enzo, 2019 Sequel to the best-selling and highly influential How to Poo at Work. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: No One Likes a Fart Zoë Foster Blake, 2020-01-14 Fart is desperate to make friends and have fun. But no one likes a fart -- not even a fart with a heart. With plenty of laughs and even more heart, this delightful picture book shows that even the smelliest among us can find a friend in this world. It's hard out there for a fart. Too smelly. Too embarassing. Too gross. Striking the perfect balance of gross-out humor, wit, and heart, this beautifully illustrated picture book delivers a message of accepting yourself and finding a friend who loves you just the way you are. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Art of Fart Dougie Brimson, 2012-01-01 The most detailed examination of the flatulent arts of modern times.!With subjects ranging from the real reasons why women seem to have such a problem with the call of the colon, through to the delights of stealth farting, no wind related subject remains unexplored in what is quite possibly the most politically incorrect book ever. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: How to Fart - Louder, Longer, and Stronger... Without Soiling Your Undies! R Sole Ph D, R. Sole, 2013-11-10 There are many books on the market giving solutions on how to stop farting. But what is there for people who want to fart more? To fart louder? To fart longer? To fart stronger...both pressure wise, and smell wise? Those that want to become champions at passing wind? Those that want to exercise their right to free speech, and exercise their sphincters at the same time? Those who say to hell with the clean air bill? And to those who want to fart responsibly, and not leave skid marks. And to those that just want to have fun! Well, to all those people, this book is written for you! In this concise, no fluff (well, actually full of fluff and hot air) report you'll learn to do exactly what the book title says... Fart louder, longer and stronger. In this short read you'll learn to build up the fart pressure with scientific food combining, and how to release it at will with advanced bowel control. Impress your friends, relatives, and partners. You'll be the talk of the town. Learn to create copious amounts of wind, and how to utilize it for best effect. You'll learn how to generate the gas, how to control and propel it, and how to make it smell beastly! From meek and mild through too big, bold and offensive...in fact deadly! Use these skills to clear a long bank queue, get a seat on a crowded train or bus, get extra leg room on a long flight, in fact the possibilities are endless. Go into stealth mode and watch people give each other the hairy eye ball as they try to figure out who dropped the clanger. Movie theaters, restaurants, amusement rides...nothing is safe...nothing is out of bounds. Get creative! Use your new found super powers to go above and beyond what others thought possible. Use shock and awe tactics. Singe peoples nose hairs. Create havoc. Have them gagging, and gasping for air. But with these new found powers comes great responsibility. Use them for good. Clear a bus to make a seat for a little old lady...and let someone else take the blame! (Insert evil chuckle here). Everything and anything is possible in this new paradigm of achievement that you will find your life propelled into. Blast yourself into success. Rise to heights and levels previously unimaginable. The world truly is your oyster, or perhaps I should say pickled egg. Forget about dropping your lunch, that will all be behind you...think about dropping a whole shopping trolley of cheese, tasty! Based on real science and food chemistry, this book is very much a practical guide, without getting bogged down too deeply into technical crap. Prac, not crap. There are enough scientific facts to keep the more technically minded satisfied. Onward and upward, go boldly forward into a hole (pun intended) new level of achievement, recognition, and farting pleasure. You will now be a famed Fartiste, and the envy of your colleagues, friends, and work mates. Walk tall, with your nose held high. You will exude a presence that commands attention. At last, gain the respect you deserve. OK, that's enough reading this blurb. Stop dreaming, and get into action and start reaping the rewards of fame and respect. Click the buy now button now, and let the fun begin! |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Fart Proudly Benjamin Franklin, 2019-01-29 Meet Benjamin Franklin as you’ve never met him before . . . This hilarious collection includes the Founding Father’s satirical writings on farting, adultery, and other irreverent subjects you won’t find in your history books. A mention of flatulence might conjure up images of bratty high school boys or lowbrow comics. But one of the most eloquent—and least expected—commentators on the subject is Benjamin Franklin. The writings in Fart Proudly reveal the rogue who lived peaceably within the philosopher and statesman. Included are “The Letter to a Royal Academy”; “On Choosing a Mistress”; “Rules on Making Oneself Disagreeable”; and other jibes. Franklin’s irrepressible wit found an outlet in perpetrating hoaxes, attacking marriage and other sacred cows, and skewering the English Parliament. Reminding us of the humorous, irreverent side of this American icon, these essays endure as both hilarious satire and a timely reminder of the importance of a free press. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: The Zen of Farting Reepah Gud Wan, 2003-09-11 In 1993, a Taiwanese fisherman opened a chest that had been in his family for centuries. Inside, he found a manuscript which may be as significant as the Dead Sea scrolls—a manuscript which will revolutionize our thinking about the origins of Zen. Written on a rice paper scroll, the manuscript records the teachings of the founder of Zen, the Master Reepah Gud Wan. It makes it quite clear that Reepah, a legitimate teacher of Buddhism, was frustrated by the inability of his students to grasp the abstract concepts of the Buddha. In desperation, he decided to play a joke on them. He invented the Zen of Farting, confident that even the densest pupil would realize that he was making a joke and laugh at his excessive seriousness—not to mention his farts. The joke went over like a stale air biscuit. Soon, the Master had thousands of students eager to learn this brave new spiritual teaching, the Zen of Farting. Thus was Zen born, not of heaven, but of the 'ethereal child of earth.' |
| how do you get yourself to fart: The Art of Farting Parviz Shirmohammadi, 2021-11-20 This book offers pure hilarious comedy, romance, adventures, and fun entertainment for any reader. It shows everything you always wanted to know about your fart. It is one of the funniest and most entertaining books you have ever read. It talks about how a fart traveled throughout time and how it affected entire human history. It goes without explaining that it brings many hours of pure laughter and fun to you. It is a comic book that takes you through a hilarious roller coaster joyful ride. It is amusing to read and will leave you with a lasting and delightful experience. You will never look at your fart the same way again. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: The Complete Book of Farts Alec Bromcie, 2011-10-13 From the publisher of the bestselling Gross series comes our grossest book yet! flat•u•lence (flach-u-lens) n. Female: an embarrassing by-product of digestion Male: an endless source of entertainment, self-expression, and male bonding Since the dawn of time, farting has been with us in all its rich and varied guises. Every nation in the world has developed its own ripe and extensive vocabulary to express the function of farting. Qui a pété? (Who's farted?) the French would ask, while the Chinese have to Fon Pei Ha, the Germans furzen, and the Swedes to fisa. Farting is a universal fascination, and every generation of boys and young men seem to revel in all things farting. For everyone fascinated with farts (and you know who you are!) comes The Complete Book of Farts. Filled with hilarious, real-life experiences and stories (and a lot of nitrogen, oxygen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen, and methane), this is the perfect companion for all those who fart, and those who don't (or won't admit it). Now, in a single volume, readers will discover: history's greatest farters; recipes for fantastic farts; farting etiquette; farting vocabulary for world travelers; funniest farting jokes, limericks, and quips; true farting confessions; and much more! No other book on farting gives us as much information and hilarity as this year's best gift for every boy (of all ages!) in your life. While there might be other farting-book imitators, only The Complete Book of Farts is the ultimate guide to all things gaseous! |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Fart in the Wind Vivian Gale, 2009-06-03 Fart in the Wind is a comedic and inspirational self-help book about letting go. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: The Fart Tootorial Ben Applebaum, Dan DiSorbo, 2013-03-19 From the authors of The Book of Beer Pong and The Book of Beer Awesomeness, this illuminating and hilarious volume features everything a person could ever wish to know (and more!) about everyone's favorite bodily function. It's loaded with interesting information, from the history of farts to different types of flatulence (Much like a fingerprint, no two farts sound—or smell—alike). Also featuring the best fart techniques, defenses, and pranks, The Fart Tootorial will make any reader a master of the gas we pass. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Harvey The Heart Had Too Many Farts Jane Bexley, 2020-11-24 Great Valentine's Day gift! Poor Harvey, he's just a little heart with too many farts and it's driving away his friends! Will he ever find someone who can love him the way he is? Get ready to giggle your way through this rhyming tale of silly toot situations and friendship. This book is appropriate for ALL AGES who don't mind silly toot humor (that is not overly gross). Words used include: toot, fart, gas, booty, and bum. Grab this new release in time for Valentines Day! 8.5 x 8.5 Premium glossy cover Hilarious and heart-felt story told through tooting Full color, professional illustrations An easy quick gift for kids (and kids at heart) |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Does It Fart? Nick Caruso, Dani Rabaiotti, 2019-07-02 A hilariously informative book of facts, farts, and fun! Dogs fart. Cats fart. Horses fart (a lot). But what about snakes? Spiders? Octopuses? What about chimpanzees? Cheetahs? Or dinosaurs? In this gaseous guide to kids' favorite animals (and some they've probably never heard of), young readers will discover not only which animals pass gas, but also which have the stinkiest farts, which fart the most, and where all this smelly stuff comes from. They'll even learn which species has its own secret fart code! Perfect for reluctant readers, and with full-color illustrations throughout, Does It Fart? is the funniest book you never knew you needed. Based on the New York Times bestseller Does It Fart?: The Definitive Field Guide to Animal Flatulence. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Find the Farter Phyllis F. Hart, Sourcebooks, 2019-10-01 Readers of all ages will love searching for the smelly offender in this book of hidden farts, a gas-tronomical new approach to the seek-and-find genre and hilarious gift for kids! Can you tell who made the smell in this fart book for kids? Find the Farter is the hilarious new can-you-find picture book that you don't want to miss! Readers of other who farts books will delight in finding the farter who let it rip at the zoo, a basketball game, in outer space, on a plane, and more! Perfect for the young and young at heart, this outrageous interactive book is filled with silly clues and bright, highly detailed illustrations that will keep readers giggling as they search for and find hidden objects and people. Why readers love Find the Farter: Laugh-out-loud fun: This hidden picture activity book will delight kids ages 6-12 and up, great for the whole family and classrooms A hilarious read aloud: Includes 15 illustrated scenarios, witty text, and detailed caricatures with funny and expressive faces to provide hints as to who cut the cheese, PLUS bonus items to find on every page The perfect gift for kids: Ideal for holiday stocking stuffers, birthdays, Easter baskets, Christmas, white elephant, and more Screen-free time: Provides hours entertainment for road trips, sleepovers, play dates, or school activities! Fun for reluctant young readers: Hilarious content and clever rhyming clues engages the imaginations of beginner readers and builds reading confidence as they search for the stinky culprit Can You Tell Who Made the Smell? |
| how do you get yourself to fart: What a Blast! Julie Winterbottom, 2022-08-16 Just what every kid wants: a fart activity book! |
| how do you get yourself to fart: The Big Book of Farts James Carlisle, 2016-11-21 This wonderfully quirky, laugh out loud book is the PERFECT GIFT for FART lovers of all ages. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: The Art of the Fart Steve Bryant, 2004-12 For those who delight in the rude, who have fun with the foul, nothing could be more entertaining than this unique look at the world’s most embarrassing sound and aroma. Illustrated with hilariously subtitled images from silent and other movies, it offers pure, unadulterated amusement. Peruse the 2,000-word glossary of various “farts” and “farters.” Find out about Farts in History, and how they changed the world. “The Way of the Third Eye” provides a religious and martial arts guide to farting prowess. To fart or not to fart: that is the question, and a “social directory” answers it. Top Twenty lists present the best fart-related films, books, and songs. Interspersed throughout are boxes featuring facts, quotes, and real-life farters such as Mr. Methane. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Fart-o-Pedia Rip Van Ripperton, 2021-10-26 An colorfully illustrated encyclopedia of fart facts, jokes, riddles, and more! Flatulently funny and perfect for ages 7–12! With humorous entries that include types of farts, food items that cause gas, what farts are called in different countries, jokes and riddles, sidebars, science, rules, advice, how to’s, and more, this book is the gassiest gift for the fart fan in any family. It contains a mishmash of information, perfect for bathroom reading and rippin' jokes with your pals. Entries include: Dog, the: Who you blame when you pass gas at the dinner table. How to save a fart for later. Fart in a glass Mason jar. Quickly put the lid on and screw it tightly. Have a friend open it later. Once you’ve done this, send us a note telling us whether or not it worked. Hoof Hearted Ice Melted: Say it out loud five times. You’ll get it. Pull my finger: What someone says to a friend when they have a fart locked and loaded. Once the friend pulls the finger, the fart is unleashed. Great trick that only works once. Silent but deadly (SBD): A fart that comes out with barely a whisper but then knocks everyone out with its noxious stench. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Catch That and Paint it Purple: A Complete Guide to Farting P. J. Whitehill, 2008-07-17 This is the only book on the subject of farting you will ever need - or probably want. Farts are a fascinating phenomenon on many levels. A fart can be funny, repulsive, embarrassing, rude, or even dastardly (in the case of a silent one). Farts can also provoke a variety of reactions. Some will laugh, some will be indignant, and other people will simply stop coming around. But the undeniable truth about farting is that everybody does it. Yes, even women. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: The Fart Book 2 J. B. O'Neil, 2017-08-02 FREE Audiobook Inside! Ready to laugh your butt off? Milo Snotrocket is back and stinkier than ever in this hilarious new addition to J.B. O'Neil's #1 Best-Selling Fart Book series. And for a limited time you can download a FREE mp3 audiobook version of THIS BOOK with your purchase. You & your kids will laugh out loud as you listen to this fart-tastic audiobook (complete with disgusting sound effects) as you page through dozens of amazing and super-funny illustrations. That's twice the stinky fun! About The Fart Book 2: Blasting Off Again Ever have trouble fitting in to a new school? Milo Snotrocket is back and is making friends the only way he knows how! Follow Milo's adventures as he tries to fit in with the cool kids and teaches himself all new ways to create the most fantastic farts ever. WARNING: Don't forget to check your shorts after you finish The Fart Book 2 -- because you'll laugh so hard you might be farting yourself for the rest of the day! And here's what readers are already saying about the side-splitting, bottom-burping Fart Book series: ***** I haven't heard my daughter laughing and giggling that much since she stared school. Thank you J.B O'Neil - I will definitely get all your books to keep my child laughing. -- Lisa D. ***** Absolutely hysterical!...If you want to laugh your way through, from page to page, this is your opportunity and the price is perfect. Get your copy now, it will put a smile on your face! -- Tom Foster ***** This ebook had me and my kids laughing from start to finish!...Talk about a fun Friday night! -- Rob Rodenparker Go ahead and buy the book right now, and don't forget to download the FREE Audiobook inside for twice the fun! |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Fart Dictionary Scott A. Sorensen, 2018-05-29 The one and only Fart Dictionary is a hilarious, illustrated collection of fart definitions for every occasion, covering a wide range of topics. Whether it's politics, poetry, karaoke, Mardi Gras, Food Network, Jane Austen, love, war, ghosts, family, sports, fashion, Shakespeare, or vegetables, there's a fart in this book for everyone. Examples include apple fart: a fart that keeps the doctor away, boomerang fart: a fart which has somehow returned to haunt you, and many, many more. So, readers, the next time you fart, or bear witness to one, take note of your surroundings, purpose, or social inconvenience. Label it, as in this unique volume. Featuring whimsical artwork and all wrapped up in a classy little package, Fart Dictionary is a perfect gag gift and certain to be a hit with anyone who has ever laughed at the sound of breaking wind. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Release Your Inner Old Fart Mark Leigh, 2012-08-24 Hilariously cynical and gloom-laden, this book contains diatribes, rants, anecdotes and advice for Old Farts everywhere. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Don D. Nibbelink's Fearsome Folklore of Farting Don D. Nibbelink, 2008 Seekers of lowbrow laughs can turn to this comical collection of facts and fancies about the windy wonder and the art it has inspired, in this witty paean to all that is silent but deadly. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Comic Books For Kids Age 8 With Funny Farts & Comic Illustrations - Comic Pictures & Audiobook For Children + Dog Humor Books El Ninjo, 2014-09-15 This Fart Book of El Ninjo is a compilation of 2. You will get FART BOOK: Blaster! Boomer! Slammer! Popper, Banger! New & Enhanced Version Volume 1 - Part 2 + FART BOOK: African Bean Fart Adventures In The Jungle, New & Enhanced Version Vol. 3 All illustrations are in full color now + Each chapter includes a narrated audio version of the chapter so that your child can learn by reading & by listening at the same time. It comes with more stories and colored pictures than ever before! The stories can be characterized as pant ripping because they are so hilarious so make sure to check your pants right after you LOL! Let me introduce myself, I am El Ninjo and I am the master butt-whistler because I simply can not resist exposing my family with my expressive face-melting fart art! I guarantee you and your kids will LOL at this hilarious fart book with these amazing bean blowing color and audio rich illustrations. Whether you're a professional butt-whistler or just an amateur... El Ninjo is going to demonstrate how he takes advantage of each single adventure that he is experiencing in various hilarious situations of life in Volume 2 and the situations go like this: * The Stinky Tsunami * The Lego Blower * The Hand Stinker * The Marshmallow Shooter * The Steamy Sweat Blanket Pooper * The Gas Eruption in the Chicken Coop and many more... In Volume 3 he faces the most dangerous animals. He uses his bean blowing way in order to save his life! He gets attacked by the lion, the leopard, the crocodile & many more dangerous animals in the jungle. The list of the African Bean Fart Adventures in the Jungle goes like this: * Arrival At The Lodge With Poop & Pump * The Safari Mobil Breakdown * The Jungle Bang * The Bean Slam'n Smoke * The Tears Gas Boom * The Gorilla Sound Cloud ... The list of Dog Jerks - Vol. 3 goes like this: Jerky Treats Better Than Celery Sticks The Perky Bullfrog Trick Egocentric Pesky Perks Pee Wee Herman Philosophy A Jerk's Agenda ... |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Fart Book: Gross Out Book With Sweet Farts El Ninjo, 2014-09-05 Fart Book: Gross Out Book With Sweet Farts Funny Stories To Make You Laugh With 33 Illustrations This is a 2 In 1 Box Set of El Ninjo's funny fart book series. This LOL fart book compilation includes 33 totally gross out fart stories for boys & 33 fart illustrations that come with each story. It is also perfect if you are looking for a fun short story or picture book because it includes 33 hilarious fart stories & illustrations that your kid can have a blast with. These hilarious illustrations alone will occupy & entertain your kid for a while, and I guarantee a very exciting and LOL reading time for your kid and yourself. It also adds some interactive elements and your kid can determine El Ninjo's future fart path, too. You'll get all the details inside! This compilation of 33 short stories is something for young and old, and once inside you will LOL for the rest of your reading time. So here we go and as El Ninjo puts it: Whether you're a professional butt-whistler...or simply can't resist impressing your friends, every now and then with a face-melting fart...you'll laugh out loud at this hilarious book with dozens of hilarious illustrations. Yes, I am the true master of bottom burping escapades, and I am going to impress you with my creative windy ways. I will not only show you every vapor blowing cloud trick that I have up my butt, but I will also make sure to show you how to apply each individual fart situation to your own benefit! In Volume 1 Blaster! Boomer! Slammer! Popper! Banger! the list of fart situation goes like this: The Wake Upper Popper The Straight Up Breakfast Table Shot The Flying Carpet The Backpack Burster The Gasification In The Car The Neighbour Detonator The Imaginary Bone Shot Or Fart Expressionism The Lego Blower The Eruption In The Chicken Coop The Hand Stinker The Marshmallow Shooter.... ...and many more steamy bean blowing fart episodes In African Bean Adventures In The Jungle, El Ninjo uses his bean blowing way... |
| how do you get yourself to fart: On Farting V. Allen, 2010-05-24 This book presents waste as an aesthetic category that introduces an arsy-versy world where detritus is precious. This aesthetic is applied in the second part to etymology, poking through the 'paternal dungheaps' of words, and tracing their origins not to Eden but to Babel, puns, and word play. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Unicorn Farts and Glitter: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving a J-Pouch AW Cross, 2016-08-02 You’ve just gotten a j-pouch. Now what? Life with your new j-pouch might feel intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. In Unicorn Farts and Glitter: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving a J-Pouch, author and j-pouch veteran AW Cross gives you a first-hand, non-medical perspective about what to expect from your j-pouch and how to manage it successfully. Through her usual blend of practicality and humor, you’ll learn how to: •Cope with the physical consequences and emotional impact of having a j-pouch •Manage pouchitis, cuffitis, obstructions, strictures, and skin care •Pack a survival kit and leave the house with confidence •Dress, eat, and have sex •Deal with healthcare professionals and enjoy your stays in the hospital •Use social media and parley with non-pouchers Whether you’ve just gotten your j-pouch, or you’ve had one for years, if you’re determined to make the most of it, this book is for you. If you’d rather pretend that you’re normal, have no sense of humor about your j-pouch, and hate unicorns and rainbows, DON’T BUY THIS BOOK! I don't think that there is anything that this book doesn't cover. I mean it answers every question that you could possibly have. I hope this book gets to everyone who needs it! - Goodreads Reviewer |
| how do you get yourself to fart: The Fantastic Flatulent Fart Brothers' Second Big Book of Farty Facts M.D. Whalen, 2018-03-28 Did you know that plants fart? Kids go to jail for farting? That there's a movie award for Best Fart? Do you secretly think farts are not only funny, but fascinating? Increase your Fart IQ and impress your friends and teachers with this gas-powered, illustrated fact-filled follow-up to the best-selling original Big Book of Farty Facts. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: The Old Fart's Guide to Survival Dawn Cawley, 2016-10-03 You might be getting on a bit but that doesn't mean life can't still be fun! Dawn Cawley, a paid-up member of The Old Fart's Club certainly isn't ready to be put out to pasture just yet and shares her tips and observations on life in the slow lane. From dealing with modern technology and grandkids to old friendships and going deaf, this quirky and humorous take on later life is a must-have survival guide for all the Old Farts who aim to grow old(er) disgracefully! |
| how do you get yourself to fart: 20 Common Questions About Farts (EPUB) Donald Rump, 2013-12-13 Think you know everything there is to know about mankind's favorite green gas? Well, Donald Rump has something in store for you! Inside, you'll finally get to the bottom of many age-old questions, including: - Where do farts come from? - Are farts people? - Do farts die? - Do all farts go to heaven? - What should I do if a zombie farts on me? - Does inhaling farts cause brain damage? - What if someone steals my farts? - Can farts be used to power my car? - I've run out of farts. Should I dial 911? - Should I join Fartaholics Anonymous? And many, many more! So what are you waiting for? Become a fart expert today! Approximately 11,500 words in all. Intended for readers 15 and up. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Brain Farts Sally Gillard, 2017-10-16 If you’ve ever given up on a goal, backed away from an opportunity or simply not attempted something because you didn’t believe you had the skills, attributes or ability, chances are you have already got a ‘brain fart’ problem. ‘Brain farts’ are little blips in our mind that stop us from achieving. They occur in us all, it’s what we do to manage them that matters. In this practical and fun book, personal development coach Sally Gillard introduces us to the F.A.R.T system. (Feelings) You won’t win if you are scared of the race (Attitude) You won’t win if you are negative (Responses) You won’t win if you don’t compete (Thoughts) You won’t win if you tell yourself you can’t “Make your FARTs smell like roses and you will succeed in whatever you set out to achieve!” Simple techniques are explored for overcoming negative feelings and thoughts that can be experienced when we are striving for a goal or experiencing change. The strategies work and can be instantly applied for immediate results. If you are serious about achieving your dreams and goals then Brain F.A.R.T.S is the perfect place to start. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Unlocked Simon E. Poole, William Stephenson, 2021-11-12 Who could have anticipated the vicissitudes of the last year? And while the stark changes in our lives were pulling us together as a society, as we coped with what was unfolding, the quieter, often isolated time that followed allowed many to focus on writing. Lockdowns across the country may have created all kinds of problems for different people, but one of the positives that seems to have been unlocked across our county, and very probably across the country, was our individual creative potential. These pages are just one example of those isolated endeavours coming together into a collective expression of individual experience. This anthology is an incredibly unique publication, not only for how it documents this strange moment in time, but more importantly for how it reminds us of our need to explore, unravel, pose ‘what-ifs’, in order to make sense of the world: and the benefits of writing for our own wellbeing. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Fart for Freedom C.S. Davies, 2010-12-15 Two demented psychotic groups are engaged in a battle for moral, if not hygienic superiority. Fart For Freedom, with their freedom farters like the Silent But Deadly assassins and Curry Men explosive experts, are steadfastly led by their leaders; the Inner Rectum. Their sole purpose in life is to make the world a place where anyone can fart anytime and anywhere, without fear of retribution. Opposing them is STOP; the Society To Oppress Perverts- a group that brings a whole new meaning to the term anal retentiveness. Their puritanical view of the world sets them against the freedom farters at every turn. In the STOP world; clean equals serene. Unwillingly thrown into this turbulent situation is Algenon Plugg; a mild-mannered man with a traumatic past. After memories of his childhood catch up with him at a most inopportune time, he is hurled into a maelstrom that threatens death and destruction for anyone who crosses his path. If Fart For Freedom is to survive, they must eliminate the opposition before they themselves are eliminated. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Ijamama Speaks: Wisdom of a Black Sistah from the Urban Hood Frederick Douglas Harper, 2017-03-25 Ijamama Speaks is a hilarious satire. Ijamama is a woman from the urban Hood who is accidentally discovered by a feminist magazine, Hot Heifer, after she stood up to a sexist law that allowed men to be topless in public but not women. A published interview of Ijamama in Hot Heifer magazine leads to her cohosting a feminist, late-night TV show, and eventually getting her own late-night TV show, The Ijamama Tell-It-Like-It-Is Midnight Show, targeted to urban blacks, college students, and working-class women. Although very funny, Ijamama Speaks presents meaningful lessons about rightful living and quality living through dialogues of host Ijamama with her diverse TV guests. Some of her guests include Celibate Dude, Lead Belly, Benevolent Angel, Smart-Ass White Boy, Dr. Fartenstein, PumpDaddy, Spiritual Teacher, Bootylicious Queens, Preacher-Teacher, Little Red Rapper from da Hood, and HoneyBaby. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Comic Books For Kids: Silly Jokes For Kids With Dog Farts + Dog Humor Books El Ninjo, 2014-09-14 El Ninjo is going to demonstrate how he takes advantage of each single adventure that he is experiencing in various hilarious situations of life in Volume 1 and the situations go like this: * The Wake Upper Popper * The Straight Up Breakfast Table Shot * The Flying Carpet * The Backpack Burster * The Gasification In The Car * The Neighbour Detonator * The Imaginary Bone Shot Or Fart Expressionism * The Blue Hour In The Elevator (This is a brand new and never before released story. It is included for the first time in this new and enhanced color and audio version of the Fart Book) * The Delivery Boy Truck Detonater * The Stinky Tsunami * The Lego Blower * The Hand Stinker * The Marshmallow Shooter * The Steamy Sweat Blanket Pooper * The Gas Eruption in the Chicken Coop and many more... In Volume 2 he faces the most challenging sports activities. He uses his bean blowing ways in order to benefit from his powerful bean blowing air push and win every challenging sports activity like: * How To Jump Higher * How Windsurfing Works In The Doldrums? * Driving On The Merry Go Round Is Only Fun With Some Fart Art * The 18th Hole Trick * Baseball Power Hitting * The NY Style Artistry + Black Fart Rap Skyscraper Freestyle Sound (This is a brand new and never before released story. It is included for the first time in this new and enhanced color and audio version of the Fart Book) and many more bean blowing stories... The list of the African Bean Fart Adventures in the Jungle (Fart Book Volume 3) goes like this: * The Safari Mobil Breakdown * The Jungle Bang * The Bean Slam'n Smoke * Lots More... The list of Dog Jerks - Vol. 3 goes like this: Why Dogs Can Be Real Jerks Sometimes Jerky Treats Better Than Celery Sticks The Perky Bullfrog Trick Egocentric Pesky Perks Pee Wee Herman Philosophy A Jerk's Agenda Lots More... One last word of WARNING from El Ninjo himself: Don't forget to check your shorts after you finish reading...because you'll laugh so hard... |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Cook to Bang Spencer Walker, 2010-05-06 Tired of dates that leave you with nothing but a $150 dinner tab, a doggy bag, and blue balls? Enter Cook to Bang, a guide to wining, dining, and sixty-nining for cooks who don't know their asparagus from their elbows. It offers a history of Cook to Bang seduction throughout the ages, tips for setting the bait, the best menu for each sexual profile, methods for creating a sexy-time vibe, and a game plan for how to make your move. Born from the popular Web site, Cook to Bang is an everyman's guide to cooking your way into your date's bed. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: F.A.R.T.S....made easy (Light Bathroom Reading) , |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Filthy English Peter Silverton, 2011-11-03 When the Sex Pistols swore live on tea-time telly in 1976, there was outrage across Britain. Headlines screamed. Christians marched. TVs were kicked in. Thirty years on, all those words are media-mainstream - bandied about with impunity on TV and in the papers. This is the story of our bad language and its three-decade journey from the fringes of decency to the working centre of a more linguistically liberal nation. Silverton takes a clear, comprehensive and witty look at swearing and the impact of its new acceptability on our language, our manners and our society. He considers how we have become more openly emotional, yet more wary about insulting others. And how it's seemingly become alright to say **** and **** but not ****** or ****. This is the story of that cultural revolution, written by one who was there at the start, proudly striking some of the first blows in the long struggle for the right to reclaim filthy English and use it. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: The Re/Search Guide to Bodily Fluids Paul Spinrad, 1999-08 This provocative and renowned guide sparks a radical rethinking of our relationship with our bodies and nature, humourously (and seriously) spanning the gamut of everything you ever wanted to know about bodily functions and excreta. Each function is discussed from a variety of viewpoints: scientific, anthropological, historical, mythological, sociological and artistic. |
| how do you get yourself to fart: Highland Books Boxset Books 1-3 Emma Baird, 2020-01-17 Three love stories, a magical setting—welcome to the village of Lochalshie! This trio of laugh-out-loud romantic comedies set in the Scottish Highlands features the stories of Gaby and Jack, and Katya. When Gaby flees a broken engagement, she takes refuge in a faraway village in the north-west of Scotland. Then fate puts a red-headed man with more than a passing resemblance to her favourite fictional hunk Jamie Fraser in front of her, and sparks fly in Highland Fling. In Highland Heart, Katya’s relationship started promisingly… an-easy-on-the-eye guy who ticks all her boxes for brains and beauty. But their long-distance liaison takes its toll and when there is a charmer who doesn’t bother to hide his attraction to her close by, who will Katya choose? Weddings… three months to organise one and helpful ‘friends’ throwing in their ideas and suggestions left, right and centre. Will our happy couple get their happily ever after in Highland Wedding? If you are a fan of Jill Mansell, Jenny Colgan, Trisha Ashley, Katie Fforde and Sophie Kinsella, the Highland Books trio is your perfect choice for curling up on the couch and losing yourself in the world of Lochalshie. Praise for Highland Fling: “It's a great mix of funny moments and that 'does he like me' awkwardness. This book is full of witty dialogue, quirky characters you just know you'd recognise if you met them, and scenery that comes to life, making you want to hop in your car and go there.” “Took only 4 nights to devour this book, and I loved every page. The story and characters were very credible, in that the lead man is somebody I wouldn’t mind the “love guru” setting me up with. A great funny romantic read, ideal for holidays or a rainy day in.” “I loved this book. It's a perfect cosy read. I loved the Scottish setting, with all of the colourful and funny characters.” Reviews of Highland Heart: “Loved the second instalment of this delightful Scottish drama. Highly recommend both books for an instant Highland getaway.” “An excellent, heart-warming rom-com with all of the funniest characters from the first plus some great new ones. I loved seeing Lochhalsie from Katya's point of view this time. Funny, sweet and romantic.” “Great storytelling with characters I really warmed to. I so wanted Katya to be all loved up that I couldn’t put it down until I found out who’d she chosen. And the banter between the villagers was classic.” |
| how do you get yourself to fart: The History of Farting Benjamin Bart, 2013-04-26 This book book encompasses all aspects of the history of farting, from the place of farts in culture through the ages to an A-Z of classic farts. |
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