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| books about controlling parents: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Lindsay C. Gibson, 2015-06-01 A New York Times bestseller—with more than one million copies sold! If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life. In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life. Discover the four types of difficult parents: The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory |
| books about controlling parents: The Psychology of Parental Control Wendy S. Grolnick, 2002-12-18 What is parental control? Is it positive or negative for children? What makes parents controlling with their children, even when they value supporting children's autonomy? Are there alternatives to control and how might we apply them in important domains of children's lives, such as school and sports? This book addresses these and other questions about the meaning and predictors of parental control, as well as its consequences for children's adjustment and well-being. While the topic of parental control is not new, there has been controversy about the concept, with some researchers and clinicians weighing in on the side of control and others against it. This book argues that part of the controversy stems from different uses of the term, with some investigators focusing more on parents being in control and others on controlling children. Using a definition of control as pressure for children to think, feel, or behave in specific ways, the author explores research on parental control, arguing that there is more consensus than previously thought. Using this research base, the author provides evidence that parental control can be subtle and can lurk within many positive parenting approaches; parental control undermines the very behaviors we wish to inculcate in our children; providing autonomy support--the opposite of control--is a challenge, even when parents are committed to doing so. With controversy in the literature about parental control and attention in the media on the ways in which parents step over the control line (e.g., screaming on the soccer sidelines, pressuring children in academics), this book is especially timely. It provides an empathic view of how easily parents can become trapped in controlling styles by emphasizing performance and hooking their own self-esteem on children's performance. Examples of how this can happen in academic, sporting, and peer situations with their emphasis on competition and hierarchy are provided, as well as strategies for parenting in highly involved but autonomy supportive ways. A highly readable yet research-based treatment of the topic of parental control, this book: *explores the controversial topic of parental control; addresses controversy about the positive and negative effects of parental control; and disentangles various parenting concepts, such as involvement, structure, and control; *illustrates how control can be overt, such as in the use of corporal punishment or covert, as in the use of controlling praise; *provides evidence that control may produce compliance in children preventing them from initiating and taking responsibility for their own behavior; *explores why parents are controlling with their children, including environmental and economic stresses and strains, characteristics of children that pull for control, and factors in parents' own psychologies that lead them to be hooked on children's performance; and *provides examples of control in the areas of academics and sports--the hierarchical and competitive nature of these domains is seen as contributing to parents' tendencies to become controlling in these areas. |
| books about controlling parents: Back in Control Gregory Bodenhamer, 1984-02-15 In just thirty days, you can get children to behave the way you want them to. Whether their misbehavior is as minor as letting the dishes pile up and the trash overflow or as traumatic as a drug habit and stealing, Back in Control will enable you to set and enforce rules that your kids will obey. Back in Control is based on a highly successful program that has helped thousands of parents regain control over their children. Without compromising your values away or kicking the kids out of the house, it offers you the simplest, most effective method of childhood discipline to date. It presents a three-step formula that is perfect for virtually any adult wanting to control children's misbehavior. Instead of getting caught up in children's arguments and manipulations, Back in Control shows parents how to reestablish their rightful place as bosses of the family. Teachers are able to devote more time to teaching than to disciplining students. Probation officers and social workers working with parents, in addition to managing their caseloads more effectively, are able to permanently stop children from abusing drugs or alcohol, stealing, running away from home, and being truant. Children themselves learn that there are some rules they must obey, whether they want to or not, and they will grow up believing that they can succeed in doing what is required of them. Power belongs to those who use it. And if you don't, your children will. If your children's problem behavior is out of hand, it's time you got Back in Control. |
| books about controlling parents: Parenting a Child Who Has Intense Emotions Pat Harvey, Jeanine Penzo, 2009 Discusses handling children with intense emotions, including managing emotional outbursts both at home and in public, promoting mindfulness, and teaching correct behavioral principles to children. |
| books about controlling parents: Parenting Your Out-of-Control Child George M. Kapalka, 2007 Step-by-step help for overcoming temper tantrums, arguing and defiance, bed- and bath-time resistance, problems getting ready in the morning, homework issues, and more. Includes bibliographical references. |
| books about controlling parents: How to Be a Calm Parent Sarah Ockwell-Smith, 2022-03-03 How to Be a Calm Parent is part self-help book, part parenting book; aimed at parents who know that they need to be calmer to raise well adjusted, happy children, but who struggle with their own emotions and stress levels. How to Be a Calm Parent will include twelve chapters, each with important takeaway messages and exercises for parents to practice, to make a real and tangible change in their parenting. Topics the book will cover include: *Understanding your triggers and making peace with your own childhood. *Why it's OK to be 'good enough' and why you should embrace your own failures. *Guilt and why it gets in our way of better parenting *The mental load of parenting - why we need to understand the pressure and share it more. *Why 'busy' is not a badge to aim for *Communicating with partners and wider family - why your adult relationships impact those with your child. *Why all parents need a support network (and how to let them go if you find yourself in one that's not for you). *Balancing work and home life *How to tackle life transitions with grace and ease. *The four physiological corners of calmer parenting - eating well, sleeping well, moving well and resting well. *Self-kindness - why the pressure of self-care can be so damaging and why we need a new approach. *How to not throw your own tantrums and what to do if you do. |
| books about controlling parents: Unconditional Parenting Alfie Kohn, 2006-03-28 The author of Punished by Rewards and The Schools Our Children Deserve returns with a provocative challenge to the conventional ways of raising children. Kohn argues that all children have the need to be loved unconditionally, yet conventional approaches to parenting, such as punishment and reward, teach children that they are loved only when they please and impress parents. Kohn cites powerful research detailing the damage this can cause. Unconditional Parenting pushes parents to question their ideas of parenting and offers practical solutions to problems. |
| books about controlling parents: The Parenting Book Nicky Lee, 2009 How can we develop a family identity? ; How can we meet our children's deepest needs? ; How and where do we set the boundaries? ; How can we pass on our values to our children? Drawing on their own experience of bringing up four children and having talked to thousands of parents over the years on their parenting courses, Nicky and sila Lee bring fresh insights and time-tested values to the task of parenting. Full of valuable advice and practical tips. The parenting book is a resource for parents to come back to again and again--Back cover. |
| books about controlling parents: Loving Hurtful Parents Vishnu's Virtues, 2019-04-15 Have your emotionally abusive Indian parents controlled you, criticized you and made you feel guilty? Learn How to Heal Your Heart, Let Go of Your Anger and Find Peace Within.Are you an emotionally hurt, broken-down child of Indian parents, Asian parents or other controlling parents? Do you feel sad about your childhood and angry about your upbringing? Are you struggling to be a whole and complete person today? The author experienced emotional trauma and battered self-worth after growing up in a dysfunctional home of emotionally destructive communication and violent rampages which hurt his heart, spirit and soul. Learn how he came to terms with the abusive behavior, criticism, put-downs and anger he experienced while growing up in an emotionally abusive home. In this book, you'll discover- Tools to overcome the abandonment, isolation and low self-worth resulting from childhood in an emotionally abusive home. - How to heal the dysfunction you grew up with and show up as a healthier adult in your life and relationships. - How to make peace with the unfairness of growing up in a toxic, abusive home. - How to release the anger and unhappiness in your heart so you can part with the boiling resentment showing up in all parts of your life. - How to use the tools of empathy to understand your parents and compassion for yourself to heal the heavy wounds you're walking around with. - How to find peace, breathe lightly and start the process of letting go so you can reclaim your life as an adult, no matter how challenging your childhood was. You no longer have to walk the path of healing and recovery on your own. You don't have to suffer in isolation. You'll feel an immediate connection to a kindred spirit, the author, who will speak to your pain and guide you back to yourself. If you want to be less angry, have more peace and find a way to understand your past, pick up this book today. If you want a deep understanding of human behavior, a moving personal story of a child who grew up in circumstances similar to your own, and plenty of practical tools to heal your heart, shift your thoughts and apply compassion to your life, this is the book for you. It's your first step toward healing your heart and making peace with your parents and your past so you can live more freely today. Buy Loving Hurtful Parents today to find the healing, forgiveness and peace you've always wanted but never thought were possible. |
| books about controlling parents: Coping with Critical, Demanding, and Dysfunctional Parents David M. Allen, 2018 If you have a parent who is invalidating, critical, demanding, or hateful, you need to learn how to set boundaries; uncover the hidden motives behind your parent's behavior, put a stop to repetitive, hurtful interactions, and foster healthier relationships. You may even need to remove this parent from your life, and that is a valid choice. Allen helps you put an end to toxic interactions while maintaining peace in your family. -- adapted from publisher info |
| books about controlling parents: Trapped in the Mirror Elan Golomb, PhD, 2012-06-19 In this compelling book, Elan Golomb identifies the crux of the emotional and psychological problems of millions of adults. Simply put, the children of narcissist—offspring of parents whose interest always towered above the most basic needs of their sons and daughters—share a common belief: They believe they do not have the right to exist. The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways: for examples, physical self-loathing that takes form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Dr. Golomb tells us. With an empathic blend of scholarship and case studies, along with her own personal narrative of her fight for self, Dr. Golomb plumbs the depths of this problem, revealing its mysterious hold on the affairs of otherwise bright, aware, motivated, and worthy people. Trapped in the Mirror explores. the nature of the paralysis and lack of motivation so many adults feel stress and its role in exacerbating childhood wrongs why do many of our relationships seem to be reruns of the past how one's body image can be formed by faulty parenting how anger must be acknowledge to be overcome and, most important, how even the most traumatized self can be healed. Rooted in a profoundly humanist traditional approach, and suffused with the benefit of the latest knowledge about intrafamily relationships, Trapped in the Mirror offers more than the average self-help book; it is truly the first self-heal book for millions. |
| books about controlling parents: Parenting the Strong-Willed Child, Revised and Updated Edition: The Clinically Proven Five-Week Program for Parents of Two- to Six-Year-Olds Rex Forehand, Nicholas Long, 2002-03-15 The bestselling five-week program to improving the disruptive child's behavior--now updated and revised Based on more than 40 years of collective research, parents and longtime child behavior experts Dr. Rex Forehand and Dr. Nicholas Long have devised a program to help you find positive and manageable solutions to your child's difficult behavior. Now in a revised and updated edition, Parenting the Strong-Willed Child is a self-guided program for managing disruptive young children based on a clinical treatment program. This hands-on guide provides you with a step-by-step, five-week program toward improving your child's behavior as well as the entire family's relationship. Providing you with the necessary tools for successfully managing the difficult child, the book covers specific factors that cause or contribute to a child's disruptive behavior; ways to develop a more positive atmosphere in your family and home; actual reports by parents of difficult children; strategies for managing specific behavior problems; how to tell if your child might have ADHD; and more. |
| books about controlling parents: Parenting Matters National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine, Division of Behavioral and Social Sciences and Education, Board on Children, Youth, and Families, Committee on Supporting the Parents of Young Children, 2016-11-21 Decades of research have demonstrated that the parent-child dyad and the environment of the familyâ€which includes all primary caregiversâ€are at the foundation of children's well- being and healthy development. From birth, children are learning and rely on parents and the other caregivers in their lives to protect and care for them. The impact of parents may never be greater than during the earliest years of life, when a child's brain is rapidly developing and when nearly all of her or his experiences are created and shaped by parents and the family environment. Parents help children build and refine their knowledge and skills, charting a trajectory for their health and well-being during childhood and beyond. The experience of parenting also impacts parents themselves. For instance, parenting can enrich and give focus to parents' lives; generate stress or calm; and create any number of emotions, including feelings of happiness, sadness, fulfillment, and anger. Parenting of young children today takes place in the context of significant ongoing developments. These include: a rapidly growing body of science on early childhood, increases in funding for programs and services for families, changing demographics of the U.S. population, and greater diversity of family structure. Additionally, parenting is increasingly being shaped by technology and increased access to information about parenting. Parenting Matters identifies parenting knowledge, attitudes, and practices associated with positive developmental outcomes in children ages 0-8; universal/preventive and targeted strategies used in a variety of settings that have been effective with parents of young children and that support the identified knowledge, attitudes, and practices; and barriers to and facilitators for parents' use of practices that lead to healthy child outcomes as well as their participation in effective programs and services. This report makes recommendations directed at an array of stakeholders, for promoting the wide-scale adoption of effective programs and services for parents and on areas that warrant further research to inform policy and practice. It is meant to serve as a roadmap for the future of parenting policy, research, and practice in the United States. |
| books about controlling parents: Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents Lindsay C. Gibson, 2019-05-01 In this sequel to the New York Times bestseller, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers powerful tools to help you step back and protect yourself at the first sign of an emotional takeover, make sure your emotions and needs are respected, and break free from the coercive control of emotionally immature parents. Growing up with emotionally immature (EI) parents can leave you feeling lonely and neglected. You may have trouble setting limits and expressing your feelings. And you may even be more susceptible to other emotionally immature people as you establish adult relationships. In addition, as your parents become older, they may still treat your emotions with mockery and contempt, be dismissive and discounting of your reality, and try to control and diminish your sense of emotional autonomy and freedom of thought. In short, EIs can be self-absorbed, inconsistent, and contradictory. So, how can you recover from their toxic behavior? Drawing on the success of her popular self-help book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers yet another essential resource. With this follow-up guide, you’ll learn practical skills to help you recognize the signs of an EI, protect yourself against an emotional takeover, reconnect with your own emotions and needs, and gain emotional autonomy in all your relationships. This is a how-to book, with doable exercises and active tips and suggestions for what to say and do to increase emotional autonomy and self-awareness. If you’re ready to stop putting your own needs last, clear the clutter of self-doubt, and move beyond the fear of judgment and punishment that’s been instilled in you by emotionally immature parents, this book will help you find the freedom to finally live your life your way. |
| books about controlling parents: The Evolved Nest Darcia Narvaez, PhD, G. A. Bradshaw, PhD, 2023-08-08 A fascinating look into nurturing and parenting in the natural world, supplemented with original illustrations For readers of Becoming Animal and World of Wonders A beautiful resource for Nature advocates, parents-to-be, Animal lovers, and anyone who seeks to restore wellbeing on our planet, The Evolved Nest reconnects us to lessons from the Animal world and shows us how to restore wellness in our families, communities, and lives. Each of 10 chapters explores a different animal’s parenting model, sharing species-specific adaptations that allow each to thrive in their “evolved nests.” You’ll learn: How Wolves build an internal moral compass How Beavers foster a spirit of play in their children How Octopuses develop emotional and social intelligence How, when, and whether (or not) Brown Bears decide to have children What their lessons can teach you--whether you’re a parent, grandparent, caregiver, or childfree Psychologists Drs. Darcia Narvaez and Gay Bradshaw show us how each evolved nest offers inspiration for reexamining our own systems of nurturing, understanding, and caring for our young and each other. Alongside beautiful illustrations, stunning scientific facts, and lessons in neuroscience, psychology, and evolutionary biology, we learn to care deeper: to restore our innate place within the natural world and fight for an ecology of life that supports our flourishing in balance with Nature alongside our human and non-human family. |
| books about controlling parents: How to Love Difficult Parents Jim Newheiser, 2021-08-23 We are used to having our parents help us, but how do we handle it when the tables are turned and our parents are the ones who need help? Declining health, financial needs, divorce, relational issues—what’s an adult child’s role when their parents are struggling? Counselor Jim Newheiser understands the many types of challenges adults may face ... |
| books about controlling parents: But I Love Him Jill Murray, 2009-10-13 One in three girls will be in a controlling, abusive dating relationship before she graduates from high school – from verbal or emotional abuse to sexual abuse or physical battering. Is your daughter in danger? Dr. Jill Murray speaks on the topic of dating violence at high schools around the country, reaching more than 10,000 students, teachers, and counsellors each year. In every school she visits, she is approached by teenage girls in miserable relationships who, when confronted with the option of breaking up with the boy, exclaim, But I love him! Many young women – and their parents, aren't even aware of the indications of a potentially abusive relationship. What's most alarming is that these warning signs are also some of the behaviours that girls find most flattering: A boy pages and calls a girl often – but as a form of control, not affection. He wants to spend all his time with her, but eventually won't allow her to spend time with her friends. He says I love you very early in the relationship. These behaviours can escalate into blaming, isolating, manipulating, threatening, humiliation, and sexual and physical abuse. In But I Love Him, Dr. Murray identifies these controlling, abusive patterns of behaviour and helps you get your daughter out of the relationship without alienating her. You will learn what draws her to this type of relationship, why she has a hard time talking to you about it, the special barriers teens face when breaking off a relationship, and what's going on in the mind of a teen abuser. Dr. Murray will help you show your teen what a respectful relationship looks like, and teach her the importance of respecting herself. edition. |
| books about controlling parents: Running on Empty No More Jonice Webb, 2017-11-07 “Opens doors to richer, more connected relationships by naming the elephant in the room ‘Childhood Emotional Neglect’” (Harville Hendrix, PhD & Helen Lakelly Hunt, PhD, authors of the New York Times bestseller Getting the Love You Want). Since the publication of Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect, many thousands of people have learned that invisible Childhood Emotional Neglect, or CEN, has been weighing on them their entire lives, and are now in the process of recovery. Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships will offer even more solutions for the effects of CEN on people’s lives: how to talk about CEN, and heal it, in relationships with partners, parents, and children. “Filled with examples of well-meaning people struggling in their relationships, Jonice Webb not only illustrates what’s missing between adults and their parents, husbands, and their wives, and parents and their children; she also explains exactly what to do about it.” —Terry Real, internationally recognized family therapist, speaker and author, Good Morning America, The Today Show, 20/20, Oprah, and The New York Times “You will find practical solutions for everyday life to heal yourself and your relationships. This is a terrific new resource that I will be recommending to many clients now and in the future!” —Dr. Karyl McBride, author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? |
| books about controlling parents: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother Amy Chua, 2011-12-06 A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what Chinese parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it... Amy Chua's daughters, Sophia and Louisa (Lulu) were polite, interesting and helpful, they had perfect school marks and exceptional musical abilities. The Chinese-parenting model certainly seemed to produce results. But what happens when you do not tolerate disobedience and are confronted by a screaming child who would sooner freeze outside in the cold than be forced to play the piano? Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is a story about a mother, two daughters, and two dogs. It was supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones. But instead, it's about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how you can be humbled by a thirteen-year-old. Witty, entertaining and provocative, this is a unique and important book that will transform your perspective of parenting forever. |
| books about controlling parents: The Toxic Parents Survival Guide Bryn Collins, 2018-10-09 If you or someone you love grew up with an emotionally unavailable, narcissistic, or selfish parent, you probably struggle with residual feelings of anger, abandonment, loneliness, or shame. For anyone who endured a nightmare or a wasteland instead of a nurturing childhood, The Toxic Parents Survival Guide will offer you the clinical insights and the day-to-day tools so you can break the chains of toxicity that bind you in a mess you didn't create. Psychologist Bryn Collins pulls back the layers to explore the very complicated relationship with an emotionally unavailable parent. Whether they were unavailable because of addiction, mental illness, or being overly controlling or an iceberg, this imminently practical book will help validate your frustration and emotional struggles, help you set clear boundaries, and learn how to un-mesh yourself and move forward to a place of strength and peace without any guilt. Using case studies, quizzes, and jargon-free concepts, Collins profiles the most common types of toxic parents and offers the tactics and tools you need to change and break free of these painful associations. Your wounds can be healed and you can move forward. The Toxic Parents Survival Guide will help you find different ways of dealing with your parents' painful legacy so that you don't suffer and don't pass along emotional unavailability to the next generation or your current relationships. |
| books about controlling parents: Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves Naomi Aldort, 2009 [This title] operates on the radical premise that neither child nor parent must dominate. -- Review. |
| books about controlling parents: Difficult Mothers Terri Apter, 2013-05-14 An essential work for readers seeking compassionate, wise guidance about the powerful relationship between mothers and their sons and daughters. Mother love is often seen as sacred, but for many children the relationship is a painful struggle. Using the newest research on human attachment and brain development, Terri Apter, an internationally acclaimed psychologist and writer, unlocks the mysteries of this complicated bond. She showcases the five different types of difficult mother—the angry mother, the controlling mother, the narcissistic mother, the envious mother, and the emotionally neglectful mother—and explains the patterns of behavior seen in each type. Apter also explores the dilemma at the heart of a difficult relationship: why a mother has such a powerful impact on us and why we continue to care about her responses long after we have outgrown our dependence. She then shows how we can conduct an “emotional audit” on ourselves to overcome the power of the complex feelings a difficult mother inflicts. In the end this book celebrates the great resilience of sons and daughters of difficult mothers as well as acknowledging their special challenges. |
| books about controlling parents: Family Healing Salvador Minuchin, Michael P. Nichols, 1998-04-01 At the center of people’s lives is the family, which can be and should be a haven from the harshness of the outside world. Unfortunately, the source of people’s greatest hope for happiness often turns out to be the source of their worst disappointments. Now, the family therapist, Salvador Minuchin unravels the knots of family dynamics against the background of his own odyssey from an extended Argentinian Jewish family to his innovative treatment of troubled families. Through the stories of families who have sought his help, the reader is taken inside the consulting room to see how families struggle with self-defeating patterns of behavior. Through his confrontational style of therapy, Dr Minuchin demonstrates the strict but unseen rules that trap family members in stifling roles, and illuminates methods for helping families untangle systems of disharmony. In Dr Minuchin’s therapy there are no villains and no victims, only people trying to deal with various problems at each stage of the family life cycle. Minuchin understands the family as a system of interconnected lives, not as a “dysfunctional” group. Each story of a therapeutic encounter brings a new understanding of familiar dilemmas and classic mistakes, and recounts Dr Minuchin’s creative solutions. |
| books about controlling parents: Leaving Home David Celani, 2011 Relinquishing family attachments that failed to meet childhood needs is the most difficult task individuals can undertake as they grow into adulthood. Leaving Home not only emphasizes the life-saving benefits of separating from toxic parents but also offers a viable program for personal emancipation. David P. Celani centers his program on Object Relations Theory, a branch of psychoanalysis developed by Scottish analyst Ronald Fairbairn. The human personality, Fairbairn argued, is not the result of inherited (and thus immutable) instincts. Rather, the developing child builds internal relational templates rooted in conscious and unconscious memories he internalized in childhood, and these guide his future interactions with others. While an attachment to neglectful or even abusive parents is not uncommon, there is a way out. Eloquent, relatable, and filled with rich examples taken from more than two decades of clinical practice, Leaving Home outlines the practical steps necessary to become a healthy adult. |
| books about controlling parents: The Dolphin Way Shimi Kang, 2014-05-01 In this inspiring book, Harvard-trained child and adult psychiatrist and expert in human motivation Dr. Shimi Kang provides a guide to the art and science of inspiring children to develop their own internal drive and a lifelong love of learning. Drawing on the latest neuroscience and behavioral research, Dr. Kang shows why pushy “tiger parents” and permissive “jellyfish parents” actually hinder self-motivation. She proposes a powerful new parenting model: the intelligent, joyful, playful, highly social dolphin. Dolphin parents focus on maintaining balance in their children’s lives to gently yet authoritatively guide them toward lasting health, happiness, and success. As the medical director for Child and Youth Mental Health community programs in Vancouver, British Columbia, Dr. Kang has witnessed firsthand the consequences of parental pressure: anxiety disorders, high stress levels, suicides, and addictions. As the mother of three children and as the daughter of immigrant parents who struggled to give their children the “best” in life—Dr. Kang’s mother could not read and her father taught her math while they drove around in his taxicab—Dr. Kang argues that often the simplest “benefits” we give our children are the most valuable. By trusting our deepest intuitions about what is best for our kids, we will in turn allow them to develop key dolphin traits to enable them to thrive in an increasingly complex world: adaptability, community-mindedness, creativity, and critical thinking. Life is a journey through ever-changing waters, and dolphin parents know that the most valuable help we can give our children is to assist them in developing their own inner compass. Combining irrefutable science with unforgettable real-life stories, The Dolphin Way walks readers through Dr. Kang’s four-part method for cultivating self-motivation. The book makes a powerful case that we are not forced to choose between being permissive or controlling. The third option—the option that will prepare our kids for success in a future that will require adaptability—is the dolphin way. |
| books about controlling parents: Parenting with Love and Logic Foster Cline, Jim Fay, 1990 Argues that children must learn to make their own decisions and accept the consequences, and shows parents ways to encourage responsibility while maintaining discipline. |
| books about controlling parents: License to Parent Christina Hillsberg, Ryan Hillsberg, 2021-06-08 If Mr. and Mrs. Smith had kids and wrote a parenting book, this is what you'd get: a practical guide for how to utilize key spy tactics to teach kids important life skills--from self-defense to effective communication to conflict resolution. --Working Mother Christina was a single, successful CIA analyst with a burgeoning career in espionage when she met fellow spy, Ryan, a hotshot field operative who turned her world upside down. They fell in love, married, and soon they were raising three children from his first marriage, and later, two more of their own. Christina knew right away that there was something special about the way Ryan was parenting his kids, although she had to admit their obsession with surviving end-of-world scenarios and their ability to do everything from archery to motorcycle riding initially gave her pause. More than that, Ryan's kids were much more security savvy than most adults she knew. She soon realized he was using his CIA training and field experience in his day-to-day child-rearing. And why shouldn't he? The CIA trains its employees to be equipped to deal with just about anything. Shouldn't parents strive to do the same for their kids? As Christina grew into her new role as a stepmom and later gave birth to their two children, she got on board with Ryan's unique parenting style--and even helped shape it using her own experiences at the CIA. Told through honest and relatable parenting anecdotes, Christina shares their distinctive approach to raising confident, security-conscious, resilient children, giving practical takeaways rooted in CIA tradecraft along the way. License to Parent aims to provide parents with the tools necessary to raise savvier, well-rounded kids who have the skills necessary to navigate through life. |
| books about controlling parents: Freeing Your Child from Self-Criticism and Perfectionism Colleen Adrian, 2021-03-04 If it were easy to identify our own self-criticism and prevent passing it on to our children, we'd have already done it. It's deeply troubling to watch our kids judge themselves, or copy their peers because they're not self-confident enough to be themselves-while often not even noticing their own gifts. If your child: -Criticizes themselves or their creations, -Criticizes others, -Becomes easily anxious, -Becomes easily discouraged when trying new activities, -Feels reluctant to try new activities, or-Copies their peers rather than acting on their own desires or gifts, this book will provide you with practices you can start using right away, to help your children of any age begin transforming their self-criticism into self-confidence. Freeing Your Child from Self-Criticism and Perfectionism identifies some of the insidious parenting habits that perpetuate the cycle of self-criticism from generation to generation. It helps you gain insight to how and why it's so hard to change, and offers you practices that will begin to turn your child's self-criticism (and your own) around. Chapter Highlights: ✓ The social and cultural factors that create perfectionism✓ The hallmarks of perfectionism and the beliefs that perpetuate perfectionism✓ A model for understanding how and why the perfectionistic tendencies you (the caregiver) have, will always show up in your child, and always dampen your ability to live your life to your full potential, until you gain some insight to where to make changes.✓ How being disconnected from your feelings relates to developing perfectionistic habits.✓ The instances in which helping your child is truly helpful for him, and when it's crossing a boundary and undermining their confidence and spontaneity.✓ The specific normal things we all say in everyday life, that slowly build our children's Inner Critic and lead them to be harshly critical of themselves.✓ How you determine whether requiring obedience serves your child well in his long-term development of self-mastery and resilience, or whether it cultivates feelings of powerlessness and a tendency toward victimhood.✓ The two common behavioural patterns that are huge barriers to being able to use these practices to change your parenting and free yourself and your child from self-criticism. |
| books about controlling parents: Surviving Parental Alienation Amy J. L. Baker,, Paul R. Fine, LCSW, 2017-05-15 Surviving Parental Alienation provides parents who have been ostracized from their children with understanding and validation through personal accounts and expert analysis. Offering insight and advice, the authors guide the targeted parent through the issues and challenges and help them better manage their experiences. |
| books about controlling parents: Ignore It! Catherine Pearlman, PhD, LCSW, 2017-08-08 This book teaches frustrated, stressed-out parents that selectively ignoring certain behaviors can actually inspire positive changes in their kids. With all the whining, complaining, begging, and negotiating, parenting can seem more like a chore than a pleasure. Dr. Catherine Pearlman, syndicated columnist and one of America’s leading parenting experts, has a simple yet revolutionary solution: Ignore It! Dr. Pearlman’s four-step process returns the joy to child rearing. Combining highly effective strategies with time-tested approaches, she teaches parents when to selectively look the other way to withdraw reinforcement for undesirable behaviors. Too often we find ourselves bargaining, debating, arguing and pleading with kids. Instead of improved behavior parents are ensuring that the behavior will not only continue but often get worse. When children receive no attention or reward for misbehavior, they realize their ways of acting are ineffective and cease doing it. Using proven strategies supported by research, this book shows parents how to: - Avoid engaging in a power struggle - Stop using attention as a reward for misbehavior - Use effective behavior modification techniques to diminish and often eliminate problem behaviors Overflowing with wisdom, tips, scenarios, frequently asked questions, and a lot of encouragement, Ignore It! is the parenting program that promises to return bliss to the lives of exasperated parents. |
| books about controlling parents: When Love Is Not Enough Terena Thomas, Nancy L. Thomas, 2008-08-11 When Love is Not Enough: A Guide to Parenting Children with RAD-Reactive Attachment Disorder brings hope and healing tools to parents and professionals working to help challenging children. Effective interventions, a full step by step plan, clearer insight and understanding make a powerful difference in helping children heal. If you want to make a difference in the life of a hurting child, this book will do it! This plan was honed on some of the most difficult children in the US and has been used successfully to help thousands of children around the world. Children can learn to be respectful, responsible and fun to be with. This book tells the reader how to do it and then zaps them with a boost of encouragement to get started! |
| books about controlling parents: Toxic In-Laws Susan Forward, 2002-10-15 Susan Forward's practical and powerful book will help couples cope with terrible and toxic in–laws. Toxic in–laws are in–laws who create genuine chaos through various assaults––aggressive or subtle––on you and your marriage. Toxic–in laws come in a wide variety of guises, The Critics.; , who tell you what you're doing wrong, The Controllers.;, who try to run you and your partner's life, The Engulfers.;, who make incessant demands on your time, The Masters of Chaos.;, who drain you and your partner with their problems, and, The Rejecters.;, who let you know they don't want you as part of their family. Susan Forward draws on real–life voices and stories of both women and men struggling to free themselves from the frustrating, hurtful and infuriating relationships with their toxic in–laws. Dr. Forward offers you highly effective communication and behavioral techniques for getting through to partners who won't or can't stand up to their parents. Next, she lays out accessible and practical ways to reclaim you marriage from your in–laws. She shows you what to say, what to do and what limits to set. If you follow these strategies, you may not turn toxic in–laws into the in–laws of your dreams, but you will find some peace in your relationship with them. |
| books about controlling parents: Fahrenheit 451 Ray Bradbury, 1993 A book burner in a future fascist state finds out books are a vital part of a culture he never knew. He clandestinely pursues reading, until he is betrayed. |
| books about controlling parents: If You Had Controlling Parents Dan Neuharth, 1998 |
| books about controlling parents: If You Had Controlling Parents Dan Neuharth, 2009-10-13 Dan Neuharth's book demystifies much within our pasts that can hurt our intimate relationships in ways we may not even realize. If You Had Controlling Parents helps spark understanding and acceptance across generations. — John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Do you sometimes feel as if you are living your life to please others? Do you give other people the benefit of the doubt but second-guess yourself? Do you struggle with perfectionism, anxiety, lack of confidence, emotional emptiness, or eating disorders? In your intimate relationships, have you found it difficult to get close without losing your sense of self? If so, you may be among the fifteen million adults in the United States who were raised with unhealthy parental control. In this groundbreaking bestseller by accomplished family therapist Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., you'll discover whether your parents controlled eating, appearance, speech, decisions, feelings, social life, and other aspects of your childhood—and whether that control may underlie problems you still struggle with in adulthood. Packed with inspiring case studies and dozens of practical suggestions, this book shows you how to leave home emotionally so you can improve assertiveness, boundaries, and confidence, quiet you inner critics, and bring more balance to your moods and relationships. Offering compassion, not blame, Dr. Neuharth helps you make peace with your past and avoid overcontrolling your children and other loved ones. |
| books about controlling parents: Parents and Reading International Reading Association, 1971 Based on a conference held in connection with the IRA's Kansas City convention, and jointly sponsored by the IRA and the National Congress of Parents and Teachers. |
| books about controlling parents: Screw Controlling Parents Audrina Harlow, 2015-04-28 Controlling Parents and People suck! SCREW THEM! Well, not literally;) Hey You! So you're reading this because you have controlling parents or people in your life. Well done you for seeking help! Honestly, I've been there. I was the nice kid. You know. The one who liked to make sure my mother and father were always happy (as if it was my damn job) - 'Break up with him, he's no good for you' said my father. So I did. - Read Law they said. So I did. - 'You're getting chubby' said my mother. So I starved myself. - Do this, Eat that, blah blah blah... But this book is NOT about my story. This is a solution book for you. My name is Audrina Harlow and I am free at last from the pain of my controlling parents. This is not another book about controlling people, mothers or fathers that simply tells you the story of what happened to the author, defines the behaviour of controlling people or parents, without actually telling you what you can do about it. I am here to show you, in 7 steps how to be free at last and break free from your controlling parents so that you can finally live the life you want, without the opinions of anyone stealing your joy and achieve anything you have ever dreamed of. Freedom is yours for the taking From my experience, your controlling parents' negative words, actions and deeds can have a damaging effect on you which could last a life time if you don't take care of it right away. It is best to deal with the pain that your controlling parents have caused you that so that you can move on with your life and be - Free at last! Reading this book will move you to a place of feeling great about yourself, and leave you with a feeling of empowerment and joy. Here are just a few results you will experience when you use the 7 steps listed in this book: - For the first time in years, you will actually feel like you're making your own decisions, free from all the noise and 'advice' of people including your controlling parents (mothers or father) - You will fully understand how you have a lot more control and power over controlling parents and people than you realise. - You will go from holding onto all the ridiculous beliefs that your controlling parents instilled in you about not being good enough, to attracting an incredible relationship, job or whatever it is that your heart desires. I promise you, that when you use all the 7 steps I suggest in this book, you WILL feel incredibly empowered, you WILL fight for your freedom from your controlling parents and you will WIN which enable you to finally live the life you've always wanted. Buy the book now to get your power back once and for all |
| books about controlling parents: The Guide to the Top 100 Parenting & Families Books Navneet Singh, 📖 Table of Contents 1. Introduction The Importance of Parenting & Family Books How This List Was Curated Who This Book Is For 2. The Top 100 Books General Parenting & Family Dynamics (20 books) Child Development & Psychology (20 books) Positive Discipline & Behavior Management (20 books) Work-Life Balance & Parenting (20 books) Specialized Parenting (20 books) (Adoption, Special Needs, Single Parenting, Blended Families, etc.) 3. Honorable Mentions & Emerging Books Books that Almost Made the List New & Trending Parenting Books 4. Conclusion & Recommendations The Importance of Continuous Learning in Parenting Suggested Reading Paths Based on Interests (e.g., Best Books for New Parents, Top Books on Raising Emotionally Intelligent Kids) Encouragement to Explore and Discover New Books in the Genre |
| books about controlling parents: Secrets You Keep from Yourself Dan Neuharth, 2005-03-01 This insightful guide is an exploration of how and why people undermine their happiness and lose touch with their best selves. Counterproductive self-deception, a universal behavior, is a habit that can be broken. People keep themselves from having what they want, a phenomenon known as self-handicapping. Offering poignant examples, innovative tools, and a compassionate perspective, Dan Neuharth reveals how to vanquish self-imposed roadblocks and avoid unnecessary losses in order to embrace and share the best in oneself. |
| books about controlling parents: The Toxic Parents Survival Guide Bryn Collins, 2018-10-09 If you or someone you love grew up with an emotionally unavailable, narcissistic, or selfish parent, you probably struggle with residual feelings of anger, abandonment, loneliness, or shame. For anyone who endured a nightmare or a wasteland instead of a nurturing childhood, The Toxic Parents Survival Guide will offer you the clinical insights and the day-to-day tools so you can break the chains of toxicity that bind you in a mess you didn't create. Psychologist Bryn Collins pulls back the layers to explore the very complicated relationship with an emotionally unavailable parent. Whether they were unavailable because of addiction, mental illness, or being overly controlling or an iceberg, this imminently practical book will help validate your frustration and emotional struggles, help you set clear boundaries, and learn how to un-mesh yourself and move forward to a place of strength and peace without any guilt. Using case studies, quizzes, and jargon-free concepts, Collins profiles the most common types of toxic parents and offers the tactics and tools you need to change and break free of these painful associations. Your wounds can be healed and you can move forward. The Toxic Parents Survival Guide will help you find different ways of dealing with your parents' painful legacy so that you don't suffer and don't pass along emotional unavailability to the next generation or your current relationships. |
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